THE FAILURE OF NIGERIA IS THE FAIURE OF RELIGION

The aim of this essay is to demonstrate that religion is a blight/affliction and a bane/curse rather than a blessing in our home. Nigeria will be a failed State if the religions Nigerians are practicing fail to deliver the people from destroying themselves. All religions are good if the worshippers can readily adhere to the proper tenets of that religion, to do what the religion is saying.  

A good religion consists of the Basic Instruction Governing Our Dealings With Others. We Nigerians are in the mess we are in because our religion is a farce. There is no end to words that stand for farce. A farce indicates how reckless our religions have become. A farce means our religious beliefs are in shambles; they are a travesty, circus, shame, mockery, charade, in ridiculous situation, an embarrassment.  

   

The Nigerian Muslims and Christians ought to spend considerable lengths of time, studying and pondering over the tenet of Islam and Christianity, respectively. They ought to sincerely ask themselves these questions: What is the tenet of my belief in Islam? Is Islam what it is propped up to be? How do I know I believe in true Christianity? Where is my religion taking me to? How is my religion helping  or destroying Nigeria?  What is the principle, theory, belief, precept, or rule behind the religion I adhere to?

Unfortunately, we Nigerians do not realize they have God-given us right to demand and expect a better response from their religious leaders concerning the what, how, where, and why of their religion. It is no longer “let’s worship anyhow as usual.” We shall continue to suffer unbearable pains so long as we ignore taking a good look at who we are, who we worship, how we worship, and for what reasons.

The words and conduct of our leaders and citizens do not reflect proper religious upbringing. Our leaders and citizens have fallen below what is expected of a meaningful religion in these trying times in Great Nigeria. Our leaders’ words and actions have left a lot to be desired. Our empty words and behavior show that, although we as Christians and Muslims tend to be ultra-religious and have erected beautiful God’s churches and Allah’s mosques at every corner or our nation, yet we have miserably failed to recognize the reality of our Maker (God or Allah). We have stubbornly refused and rejected the inspiration of God’s Word as reflected in the Holy Bible and Holy Koran. Whoa! Wretched are we!

When are we going to learn that all lives, (Nigerians, Europeans, Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, Fulani and all of the Nigerian tribes ) are created by same one and only God and that we a have a body, mind, and soul (spirit)? When are we going to recognize that Chineke (God, Allah, or whoever you worship) had a divine purpose when He directed the creation of Nigeria from the ashes of the Scramble for Africa? A land mass became a protectorate 1901, a colony 1n 1914, and in 1960, an independent sovereign nation we now know as Nigeria.

The Spirit of God, which had carved out a piece of soil and named it Nigeria, has some doctrinal, spiritual, and moral intent for our nation. Doctrine is the policy, principle, set of guidelines, canon, or dogma that directed our development as a nation.  The Spirit is the strength, courage, character, guts, will, power of the mind, force, or fortitude that sustains us as a nation. Morality defines our ethics, goodness, decency, probity, honesty, or integrity. Why are going down the drain as a bunch of recalcitrant, intractable, refractory, irredeemable, or unmanageable savages?

When Nigerian Christians institute money as idol to be worshiped and establish human sacrifice as a vehicle to attract wealth or hold onto political power, it is an exercise in futility, discomfiture, awkwardness, mortification, or shame before the throne of the Great Almighty Jehovah. Believing Christians know that God is not Author of confusion; that He cannot heedlessly destroy His own creation with cause; and that doing so constitutes a violation of His own commandments/principles: “Thou shalt not kill,” and “Thou shalt have no God other than Me” True Christians know that their God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must do so in Spirit and in Truth.

When Nigerian Muslims mistake the early morning call for prayers for an invitation to celebrate the beheading of Christians; the kidnapping, the raping, and the  enslaving of young virgins who are forced to accept Islam or be killed,  and who are denied the freedom to worship God of their choice, that invitation is not of Allah.  Believing Muslims know that Allah does not countenance cruelty or violence done to others in the name of religion, and that Allah does not approve of evil done to others simply because He is Allah who does not and cannot entertain evil things.

Allah won’t tolerate the spilling of innocent blood on account of religion; Allah does not stand for violence; Allah will not put up with brutality; and Allah cannot approve of evil, including cruelty, viciousness, violence, or rough treatment of others. Glorious Allah does not have the stomach for confusion. Allah is not glad in the face of man’s inhumanity to man. Allah cherishes gentleness and benevolence, and Allah wants Muslims to employ gentleness, kindness, compassion, generosity, munificence, and goodwill in their daily dealings with each of God’s creatures, be it Muslim or non-Muslim.

We Nigerians of all tribes residing anywhere on the face of this earth are taking the opportunity to humbly appeal to our fellow countrymen and country women, Christians and Muslims, to live exemplary life of peaceful coexistence as God would want us to be.

“Dear Christians,  if the basic tenet of Christianity is to neglect the true worship of Jehovah and to prostitute after wealth and what money can buy, go ahead and pursue wealth to your satisfaction.” We know you would not be happy doing that because your conscience would not allow you to rest.

“Dear Muslims, if the basic tenet of Islam is to desecrate, vandalize, defile, or lay to waste a generation of non-Muslim Nigerians, go ahead and have your way.” We know you would not be happy killing and doing what Allah prohibits.

As for us, the responsibility to save Nigeria from Armageddon rests squarely on our own shoulders.  We must not allow religion to triumph over reason, money over manners, and falsehood and fakes over facts. We must stop going down the wrong path as a bunch of recalcitrant, intractable, refractory, irredeemable, out of control, obdurate, and unmanageable savages.

March 30, 2017

Submitted by Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com

WHAT SICKENS THE NIGERIAN PRESIDENTS SO MUCH THEY FREQUENTLY SEEK OVERSEAS MEDICAL ATTENTION?

Events described in this essay, though fictional, may actually be obtainable now in Nigeria. The Nigerian President spends uneasy time at home and abroad. He walks back and forth in his spacious apartment unable to sleep. He tosses and turns in bed, and places aching head on both ends of the massive pillow in order to think clearly. The Nigerian President worries so much about how to meet the nation’s massive financial obligations to other countries. He agonizes over how to keep his tribesmen from killing those they consider to be infidels. 

The Nigerian President feels threatened even in secured Aso Rock that is surrounded 24/7 by sharpshooters and men heavily armed with weapons that include uta (Hausa poisoned arrows). Unfortunately, very regrettably, and sadly, although  security men and women are duty bound  to protect the president and his family members, yet the arrangement does not guarantee Presidential health or freedom from worries, or overseas hospitalizations .

 

Of all the Presidents Nigeria has had since Independence Day October 1, 1960, very few were healthy while in office and fewer had perfect health that did not require overseas hospitalizations. This essay considers several  important issues that impact a President’s life .This essay aims at explaining why the milk ain’t clean.  What is worsening  the health of Nigerian Presidents while they are in office, particularly the health of Presidents from Northern Nigeria? 

What factors are related to the frequency with which our leaders, particularly the Presidents of our country, give up the ghost? To give up the ghost is to expire, pass on, breathe the last breath, depart this life, go meet the Maker, or die. Asked in a more serious note, What is killing these people? What is chasing them away to distant lands to pass away?  Read to the end of this essay to discover what the Nigerians and their presidents ought to do to safeguard  health.

This essay is not an attempt to trash, belittle,  or make insignificant and light President Buhari’s health. Nobody rejoices or ought to celebrate or express joy at another’s ill health. While we identify  with Buhari’s struggles and  are sympathize with the President’s health issues, we are quick to point out that Nigerians wish they and their Presidents lived healthier lives. We also wish President Buhari   a speedy recovery. However, in the same breath, and if truth must be told, Nigerians  would want to be led by hale and hearty heads of State. Health is wealth to be protected at all costs. Like the sun that warms and the rain that cultivates nutrients, health is a birthright all of God’s children ought to enjoy.

The fact cannot be overemphasized that Nigeria as a nation is destroying lives of her citizens by turning a blind eye to a serious issue of health. While presidents of many nations are living longer and healthier lives and able to pass batons of headship  onto younger leaders, African leaders, particularly those from Nigeria,  have had a difficult time staying in office without seriously suffering pitiable health as they make frequent trips overseas to seek medical attention.

It seems that as soon as a typical Nigerian leader appears on the scene to take an oath of the highest office, he falls ill and then vanishes into thin air under the most mysterious, mystifying, unexplained circumstances. Consider the cases of Abacha and Yar’dua.

Although Nigerian  public feeds its Presidents well at public charge and gives the Presidents  access to the best healthcare facilities in the country and abroad, yet many leave as soon as they  have read a post-election acceptance speech and received  a standing ovation. Don’t they seem to  soon disappear from the Nigerian scene after their inaugural celebration is over? Additionally, this essay explores what we the people of Nigeria and our leaders themselves ought to do to extend the life expectancy and improve health prognosis of our dear presidents. How do we prevent early presidential incapacity  due to poor health?

Some of the most important functions the person occupying the position of Nigerian presidency is expected to perform seem to fall into 7 broad categories as follows.

·         He is a ceremonial  head

·         He is everything to every Nigerian man  or woman

·         He is the executive rule enforcer, putting down insurrections and armed  revolts

·         He oversees the distribution of the national cake

·         He is a shoulder on which sincere and insincere citizens cry for real and imaginary redress

·         He is the nation’s representative at such important international as G-12, United Nations, ECOWAS, and so forth

·         He is the representative of the tribe to which he belongs and owes  oath of allegiance  

  

Being a Nigerian President is not an easy walk around a picturesque, beautiful, charming, or chocolate-box pond behind Igumale Methodist Central School. It is not a leisure stroll though Ochanga Motor Park, nor is it like a man who just walks erect in a flowing Hausa-type gown and smiling broadly at every citizen who bows down , prostrates, or waves frantically.

 The President of Nigeria  is usually accosted by deeply challenging  events  and persons lining his path to ask for favors.  Granting these favors often pulls the president apart in many unforeseeable directions.

Some of the nods and smiles the President receives in his daily activities are fake and  come from ignoble sycophants. Ignoble denotes acts that are dishonorable, shameful, immoral, dastardly, base, low, reprehensible, or  just not good. A sycophant is a Nigerian who is toady or flatterer and who seeks undeserved favors.

The Nigerian President is buried under the most obscure duties. He responds to a plethora of mongo jumbo, including  the “give me this and give me that” demands from Nigerians from different tribes. He  may, for instance,  receive a request from some powerful  groups to build roads and bridges throughout a state while other states have no roads. It could be a demand to seize oil fields  and “let’s give contracts to our oil middle men who would guarantee us some kickback” or the request may center on punishing  a tribe more severely for creating conditions that led to a Civil War.  Most assuredly, the requests usually center around money.

A group of dignitaries may be seeking the President’s ear to prevent the loss of revenues belonging to the President or to a relation. Perhaps, it could be a witch-hunt by an envious group to wrest power from the hands of another group. The Nigerian President may be called upon to mediate “palaver” between warring groups. Efforts to deal with all such palavers may take a painful toll upon the President’s health, peace of mind, and equilibrium. Equilibrium is defined as the President’s balance, symmetry, or stability.

    

One who lacks equilibrium is said to be unbalanced, and when one is unbalanced one is disturbed, unhinged, unstable, uneven, lopsided, and crooked. An unbalanced person falls ill soon and does not enjoy life. A Nigerian President appears to be a hypochondriac also known as to have hypochondria, health anxiety or illness caused by anxiety or worry. The worst attack on equilibrium comes from knowing the Truth and failing to uphold Truth. A hypochondriac is someone who lives in fear of having a serious illness, despite medical tests never find anything wrong, may have a condition known as illness anxiety disorder, more commonly known as hypochondria, or hypochondriasis..

A Nigerian President risks being removed  from office by assassination, poison, or other violent means. While the leader walks in the awesome corridors of power amid the trappings of opulence, affluence, or  wealth, don’t let that fool you. Readers should be cognizant and remember that not all that glimmers and glisters is gold, or that everything presidential is not honky dory, meaning that if it is more than it is or more than meets the eyes or tickles the senses, the milk ain’t clean. The Nigerian presidency walks gingerly, unsteadily, precariously, and erratically under a heavy burden. It is a curse to hold the highest office in the land of the Nigerians.

What is more burdensome is to carry the mkpo (Igbo for wooden walking stick) of the president or to eat n’elu ukwu ukpaka (at the top of ukpaka  tree). When a monkey climbs an iroko tree and feeds on the highest limbs, his ass is fully exposed to watchers at the foot of the iroko. An exposed ass gets shot at with a gun. Exposed buttocks can easily be impaled. To impale is to be pierced with a long javelin. To be impaled is to be fixed firmly or hammered onto a wooden cross as the Man from Galilee was. The farther you climb up a tree, the more you are likely to be stabbed with a spear, or run over  with a gwongwolo ( open wagon covered with tarpaulin) which traders use to haul yams and other traders.

William Shakespeare, in King Henry the Fourth, Part Two, says: “Uneasy lays the head that wears the crown”. Shakespeare meant to say that one who has great responsibilities placed upon one’s stiff and aching shoulders, such as the British Queen or the Nigerian President, has a problem. The Nigerian President  does not behave as normal persons do due to the cumbersomeness, unwieldiness or ungainliness of his burden. The person shouldering the responsibilities of being Nigerian President is in turmoil, constantly under pressure, worries a lot, and therefore doesn't sleep soundly. It is foolhardy to expect such a person to have a healthy life. The Queen is pain in the ass of every Nigerian President.

The Queen (thereafter known as Q)  and the Nigerian President (thereafter known as NP)  have two diametrically opposing things to worry about,  The Q is all smiles and elegance as she welcomes and  receives the NP to the Buckingham palace to sip tea. The NP is in visible pain as he reacts to Q whom he considers to be his “Boss Lady, Empress Extraordinary, and continuing owner of the colony of Nigeria.”  There is the unmistakable superior-subordinate association, the oga-houseboy relationship.

When the  Q and the NP meet to shake hands, Q is demure, meaning she is decorous, sedate, reserved, and shy. The NP  is strikingly old but bold soldier/dictator appointed by the Queen to protect the interests of the Crown. The Crown is okpu eze (kingly hat) the Queen wears to symbolize the power of the British war planes, navy ships, and bombers. As Queen (Q)  and Nigerian President (NP) clasp hands in a greeting of recognition, words take on a  vibrant unspoken animus. The conversation an eavesdropper could hear may be as follows:

Q: “I haven’t seen you for awhile since the days your days at our Sandhurst. How are  you doing, President of Sovereign Nation of Nigeria ?”

NP: “Thank God. I am doing well as much as I can, and –“

Q: “Please don’t complain. I know what you are about to say. By the way, you haven’t paid Nigeria’s yearly colonial tax of 590 trillion pounds to the Government of the Great Britain. Do you remember?”

NP: “Yes, I do remember.”

Q:: “Then, why are you behind in your payment when you had signed the documents with us as all Heads of all our Empire do?  What seems to be the trouble?”

NP: “No problems, Sir. Err. I mean to say Ma’am. Sorry. Sir.  I mean The Queen of England. We shall pay.”    

The Nigerian President spends uneasy time at home and abroad…

In England, the Queen rules but does not govern, meaning that although her powers are monarchical and ceremonial and she enjoys wide popularity and is revered by millions of colonial subjects both far and near, and  although her position is merely constitutional and traditional as figure head, the Queen does  not have real political powers. She worries less and fears little, quite unlike the Nigerian President.

In the case of the Nigerian executive Presidency, the power is awesomely real, overpoweringly genuine, devastatingly political, crushingly militant, and tremendously significant. The office of the Nigerian President carries enormous political and financial consequences. The Nigerian President is Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, Therefore, the buck ends on the presidential laps.

The Nigerian President’s biggest problem is his worry or isi owuwa (Igbo for headache) which comes from the Queen and the whole British apparatus of colonialism. Colonialism, like a mad man named John  Bull, constantly gnaws at the feet and shrieks in the ears of the Nigerian President day and night.

John Bull says:  “Look here, boy. You owe. You owe. Now, either you pay up or we are going to remove you and put your junior officer Corporal Gabriel Okonkwo (fictitious)  as your replacement. You may be killed as Gaddafi  was. Now, my boy. Listen carefully!  I am telling you now. Pay us the yearly 590 billion pound tax you owe the Her Majesty’s government. Pay now”

There lies the riddle. Suddenly the Presidential office phones take on independent life of their own. They are ringing off the hooks with deafening crescendo, racket or rumpus. The calls are coming from  worlds beyond the four corners of Nigeria. The calls are from faraway World Bank, Bank of China, and Bank of Japan. Creditors of every color and language are calling for their money. They are she sharks whose bites are worse than the piranda’s .

 Each shark gives a simple order:  “Boy, you have two choices. You either pay or we devalue your currency and create disturbances”   This is followed with a fear-evoking threat: “Your oil revenue is dried up, your unemployment high, your trade Unions are  at your throat, teachers are leaving classrooms, trader women demonstrating naked. and there’s hunger in the land.”

The following day right after the intimidation from China, Japan, and the British Queen, the Nigerian President receives a high-powered delegation  consisting of the Fulani heads, owners of millions of ehi (Igbo for cows).

President: How are you fellas  doing today?

The Fulanis: Fine. We come to remind you of our Dan Fodio Plan to conquer and Ismalize the infidels the Anyamirins all the way to the seas. We have defeated the Yorubas. It remain the Anyamirins. Shall we say “Oshe bee”?

The President: Look here,  felas. This job is killing me, and you are killing me the more by what you’re doing”.

The Fulanis: We’re your people. Are you refusing to obey the order of Allah and his Prophet Muhammad?

The Nigerian President suffers when external pressures from the Queen and British collide,  exacerbate,  and intensify and already spiteful animus, and when he  faces combined internalized  pressures from the Fulani cattle herdsmen,  from the beheaders of Christians, from Delta Avengers seeking to grab barrels of crude oil, from Nnamdi Kalu and “Biafra and Igbo President Now” organizers, it is more than one man can handle.

The Nigerian President  watches  his country disintegrate and threaten to evaporate in  smoky mist. The disintegration is not  in the form of a volcanic eruption. No, Nigeria is constantly a hot, torrid pot of herbs that is boiling at twice the temperature of hell. The pot is sweltering, scorching, roasting, steaming, and blistering.

What would this President do? He doesn’t eat well any more. He doesn’t trust his religion to guide him through his many trials, he begins to question his God that embellishes murder of children and rape of frightened pre-pubescent virgins,  and his interest in women is increasingly waning. His interest in women  eventually disappears kpatakpata (completely).  He does not exercise well. As his blood pressure rises as a thermometer filled with alcohol, and as he complains of malaria and diabetes, he sends for the Senate President, and demands to go on extended medical leave. The Senate dares not ask any question. He’s the President, and the Constitution is behind him.

What Nigerian Presidents  can do to live healthier and longer

Nigerians, both Presidents and ordinary citizens are advised to keep a positive attitude, stay active and connected, have a healthy diet, and refrain from use of drugs such as cigarettes, cocaine, and alcoholic beverages.

Eat more fresh vegetables, fruits, fish, and little or no animal proteins (such as cows, goats, erc)

Keep a healthy body through regularly exercise, including daily walking about 2 miles, swimming, horseback riding

Learn to speak conversational major Nigerian languages in order to converse comfortably with  the people.

Don’t wait till one falls ill to begin the struggle to get well; schedule  appointments for periodic check-ups  with doctors to ensure the body functions well and there are correctable eye  problems (cataract), thyroid problems; heart conditions; stomach and colon problems (no  stomach or colon cancer)

Hold town meeting with Nigerians and let the people talk to them while he listens and learns.

What Nigerians can do to enable to palliate/improve Presidential health and longevity

All Nigerians with no exception  on the basis of wealth of family connection ought to be law-abiding and respectful of authority and fellow citizens; all should pay appropriate taxes and duties  as determined by the Federal or State Government

Submitted by Dr. James C. Agazie; jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blospot.com

This document is work product and personal property of the writer; it is protected by law and cannot be reproduced in any form without the  express permission of the author.

.

WHY DO PRESIDENT TRUMP AND THE NIGERIAN POLITICIANS TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO LIE?

Nobody should be above the law, and nobody has the unbridled right to lie. Politician cannot live without  telling lies, and Nigerian politicians are the most mendacious. Like Donald Trump, politicians in my home are deceitful, two-faced, dishonest, insincere, misleading, double-dealing, or false. There can never be an end to adjectives describing lying politicians. Don’t follow a liar unless you enjoy  cock-and-bull story, fabrication, and trumped-up story

Standing alongside the Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny ahead of St Patrick's Day on Friday, and stressing the importance of American friendship with Ireland , the US president Donald Trump lies as he quotes his favorite Irish poem which he  said: " is a good one, this is one I like, I’ve heard it for many, many years and I love it.”  

The quote does not come from Ireland as Trump incorrectly alleges. Trump quotes from a poem written by a Nigerian Muslim named Albashir Adam  Alhassan. It is a marvelous thing that a Nigerian gave US President Trump the quote he was proudly mouthing for the St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

 A  poem written by a Nigerian Muslim contained the quote the US President was proudly using, while the US President was banning  Muslim entry into America. Throughout his campaign for presidency, President Trump was adding insult to injury as he denigrated, disparaged, poured scorn on, put down, degraded, defamed, belittled, maligned, and made fun of Nigeria.
  

Let’s assume Billionaire Trump made a mistake because he has zero intelligence. Perhaps, Trump is the type who enjoys squeezing blood from tomatoes, and  it would not be impossible for Trump to raise camels on Mars. Such is the description of professional egomania, also known as obsessive preoccupation with oneself (I-Me-Myself) or IMM.

The IMM (pronounced imi (Igbo for nose), implies someone has ungovernable impulses to exploit, impress and intimidate others .  That Trump has undeveloped amam ihe ( Igbo for wisdom) is not a viable reason to excuse the billionaire because Trump feels he can marshal enough dollars to devalue Nigeria currency within minutes of taking office. What prevents  billionaire Trump from employing a muslim with the best Nigerian intelligence to be his speech writer on a  Salary of mere 982,000 Naira per month (2,000 dollars at the rate of 491 Naira per dollar)?

This essay aims at showing how such bombastic politicians like MBDT (Multi-Billionaire Donald Trump)  and sneaky Nigerian politicians have been thumbing noses, misleading,  and taking advantage of the little people . It is more than the usual way of doing business. it is a classic case of fraud, trickery, deception, and chicanery.

This essay appeals to Trump and Nigerian politicians  to desist from falsehoods. This appeal to desist from lies is made especially to all Nigerian politicians , including President Buhari, Goodluck, Amechi, Ekweremadu, Rochas, Obasanjo, Fayose, Obi, Fashola, Shema, Kwankwaso, Tinubu and all former and current politicians from all Nigerian tribes no matter how innocent they  consider themselves to be if they have taken a Naira from public coffers.

The Nigerian politicians are asked to learn all they can from The Trump on how to protect our oil and natural resources.  However, Trump and the Nigerian politicians are not allowed to lie to little children. Lying consists of fraud, trickery, deception, and chicanery.  Fraud has no place in a democracy; it is anti-democratic.

Fraud is the criminal act of concealing, or misrepresenting the truth in order to convince a person to give up rights. Trickery suggests the use of slick practices to fool or cheat others. Deception, on the hand, is the act of deceiving or bamboozling, and may suggest cheating or double-dealing, or simply the sleight/craftiness of hands created in some clever magician’s illusions. Chicanery implies under-handed dealing, and petty legalistic trickery. Why is Trump’s lying particularly offensive?

Trump  is  the most visible leader of the free world, and he is in the midst of the most embarrassing squabble with the rest of the world, standing tall and unabashed to steal honor from my country and give tribute or respect to European nation.

Trump is unabashed when his words and actions are definitely brazen, shameless, bold, blatant, forward, brash, forthright, or unashamed. It is one thing to win an election, not by popular votes but by little understood electoral college (a system set up by wealthy racist powerful landowners  to keep slaves perpetually disenfranchised,  castigated, pilloried, and in stocks or leg irons.  It is another thing to be truthful. Candor is considered a virtue.

Trump’s mantra is to “Keep America Great Again.” One wants to ask Trump  two questions. One is “Has America ever being great without standing upon shoulders of others and stealing others’ ideas and bodies?” Another question to ask Trump is: “Won’t America be on a giant heap of nsi nama (cow manure) if Trump kicks out all the Nigerians, ISIS, Syrians, Lebanese, and so-called Islamic?”

A Mexican illegal immigrant added hilarity to the humorous discourse when he said : “in my country we do not drink beer or use those bad drugs. We manufacture those cocaine and cracks for the Americans who keep demanding “Bring more cocaine, Amigo. Please bring much more of that sweet thing. Hahaha.”    

Talking about illegal drugs, one wonders if the Trump  smokes so much of that stuffs he goes on  wild goose chase to make up unbelievable fables that former Kenyan President Obama has powerful surveillances permanently planted on Trump Towers or that the British espionage was collecting and disseminating some Trumpnosistic-isi-mgbaka (brain- destroying information for BBO (Black Barrack Obama).

Trump has been thumbing noses at Nigeria for the longest by showing my country crass disrespect. Trump makes my ass hurts, listening to okwu asi (Igbo for lies), and I am already in bed with a jar of Preparation H. And before I apply the Prep H to my hurt, I am appealing to all Nigerian politicians who have been investigated, convicted for embezzlement (you know who you are) desist from lying and taking without permission.

Here is the Nigerian Muslim’s poem from which Trump stole a quote:

Always remember to forget,
The things that make you sad,
But never forget to remember,
The things that make you glad.

Always remember to forget,
The friends that proved untrue,
But never forget to remember,
Those that have stuck to you.

Always remember to forget,
The trouble that passed away,
But never forget to remember,
The blessings that come each day.

Always remember to do your duty,
And some kindness day by day,
But never forget to live a useful and happy life,
That is the only way. 

Poem written by Nigerian Albashir  Adam  Alhassan.

Essay submitted by Dr, James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmil.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com

WHAT I  UNDERSTOOD  FROM  PRESIDENT BUHARI’S WORDS TO NIGERIANS UPON HIS RECENT RETURN FROM MEDICAL TREATMENT  

The purpose of this essay is to amplify the words President had for Nigerians upon his return from the medical treatment. To amplify is to intensify, increase, strengthen, augment, or enlarge. President Buhari spoke well as a wise statesman. His words had the capacity to encourage a people who are weighed down with seemingly insurmountable difficulties.

This essay is not meant to take away from gravity of my president’s word, utterance, statements, expressions, speech, or declaration. Rather, this writer is attempting to build upon, deepen the meaning of, step up the bite, heap on, or add teeth to the gravity or bite of Buhari’s words. Gravity is defined as  the seriousness, importance, significance, severity, enormity, magnitude, or solemnity of spoke words

This is the time everyone in Nigeria ought to encourage one another . One who encourages is said to give confidence,  strengthen  failing hearts, cheer up slumping neighbors, lend support where there is none; strengthen in the face of dissuasion, egg on the runner at the tail end of exhausted marathoners, and promote those lagging behind.

Nigerians are a resilient people who need to be shown love and devotion. Resilience implies that, rather being stiff and rigid as nkume (rock) or osisi (wood),  Nigerians are elastic, flexible, pliant, supple, durable, and toughened by constant bendy or malleable  experience,  Nigerians are a people waiting for a leader to cast a caring eye  their way, a nod however slight that would bring “Ahah” to the lips and a  mystery smile of Mona Lisa.  Here are President Muhammad  Buhari’s fatherly words and the meanings attached to them.

FIRST WORD:  I have not been this sick, even in the military

Since Health is uppermost on the minds of our people, we shall leave no stones unturned in our efforts to provide better health management to our people, including good hospitals, dispensaries, surgery centers, and maternity homes staffed by qualified doctors and nurses and equipped with genuine medications and practices. Good health management shall prevent Nigerians’ frequent travels outside the country and improve our foreign reserves. Nigerian politicians have been overseas and seen how healthcare is organized. What stops them from building good clinics  in Nigeria? 

SECOND WORD: Thank you, Christian and Muslim Nigerians, for your continued prayers for my health. I want you to please pray for the health and unity of our nation?

Prayers are good. Best prayers are those in which we ask God for wisdom and guidance as we attempt to solve our myriad problems. Nigeria has churches and mosques at every corner of each city. We should encourage church pastors and imams of each mosque to discuss issues affecting the people and ways to resolve the concerns. There should be faith-based initiatives the Nigerian government puts in place to obtain input from religious leaders.

THIRD WORD: Even in hardship, Nigerians still support my government

Nigerians enjoy and will support an administration that shows concern and empathy, where empathy is defined as understanding, sympathy, or compassion. It is expected that Nigerians are more likely to respond to and support an administration whose ears are to the ground, listening and attuned to the local concerns  than one that turns a deaf ear. Leaders ought to make use of town halls and informal meetings to hear what citizens are saying.  Social workers and community workers should be trained and sent to every Nigerian town and village to help bring government to the people as well as bring people to the government.

FOURTH WORD: I want to repay Nigerians , and the best way to do so will be to serve you with greater rededication.

It is admirable that Buhari is anxious to change from the ancient, autocratic military stance of the past decades to a more modern approach that is democratic, egalitarian, free, classless, equal, unrestrictive, uncensored, detribalized, and open. Nigerians love a good government that listens to their problems and does something about them. Good listening is effective even in situations where time and budgetary restrictions may prevent immediate solutions.

FIFTH WORD: It is possible I might soon be re-admitted to hospital for follow up on my ailment

Hospitalizations and medications are not the answer to our health problems. God has made our bodies so wonderfully and fearfully constructed we can withstand diseases if we only learn how to take care of the structures we are housed in. Taking proper care of our bodies includes proper nutrition, exercising, and adequate resting.  Western drugs are harmful and have side effects that compound our problem and hasten our demise or death.

SIXTH WORD:I am appealing to Nigerians to continue to pray for unity of our nation.

Nigerians are a praying people. Our prayers are not always answered because we are praying for the wrong reason, asking for wrong things, and not waiting enough for things to work out. Although there are churches and mosques at every corner of the Nigerian cities yet our problems persist because all we are interested in praying and serving God for is to receive material things, such as money, cars, or mansions. We ought to be interested in asking God to give us visions in order to find ways to serve our country men and women in ways God has prepared us.  

SEVENTH WORD: Osinbajo will continue to serve as Acting President while I rest some more.

Although Vice President Osinbajo is ably qualified to act in the absence of Buhari, Nigerians may consider increasing the number of Vice Presidents to 6 to represent the nation’s geopolitical zones created under Abacha’s regime.  A nation as large as Nigeria with a population of 190,305,502 (over 190 million) people, as of March 11, 2017, needs more than just a Vice President. We suggest 6 Vice Presidents, where a Vice president represents each zone in order to do justice to the entire population.    

Written by Dr. James C. Agazie; jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com

ON THE STRESSFUL DAILY LIVES SOME NIGERIANS LIVE

Hunger is not an uncommon source  of stress in Nigeria. Mrs, Grace Edeh, a  35-year-old mother of  three and staff of the National Examination Council, was being quizzed by the Niger state Child Right Protection Agency for burning with hot charcoal the palms of her eight- year old house-maid, accused of stealing meat from the pot.

 Asked why she committed the offense which contravenes Section 26 of the Child’s Right Act against maltreating children, Mrs. Edeh explained that she had ill-treated the girl out of anger as the child was fond of stealing meat from the pot of soup. She said that the girl was also caught stealing meat from the neighbor’s kitchen. . Read more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/02/house-maid-palms-burn-piece-meat/

To live in Nigeria, on the average is to walk though the valley of shadow of death. Life in my country is not just akin to shadow or silhouette of death; it is the real death.  Just as the advertisement goes  that  “Coke is the  real thing” so is stressful  life real for millions of Nigerians.  Who wants to drink Coke and who wants a stress-filled life? 

Hunger is not to be confused with thirst for a beverage, such as Coke.  Coke is adulterated concoction invented with the aim of extracting wealth from the unsuspecting public. Death is onwu in Igbo language and hunger is aguo. Onwu and aguo are nothing to play with since both would strike a man dead like a bolt of lightning, though aguo is death resulting from lack of food, starvation, famine, appetite, or desire for something to chop (eat).

 Nigerians often say that “a hungry man is an angry man.” Could it be that Mrs. Edeh in incinerating her maid’s hand black as charcoal was infuriated/ made angry when her 8-year-old maid took food from Madam’s mouth? Taking food from someone’s mouth is no different than wishing death on that someone. Hunger would make one do things that may be unthinkable, unimaginable, or clearly absurd.

Though the effect of stress from death and hunger is as unpleasant  as the other, food and death are not the same thing. Food is the edible or potable substance usually of animal or plant origin) and consisting of nourishing, nutritive (sometimes poisonous) components such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, essential mineral and vitamins, which (when ingested and assimilated through digestion) sustains life, generates energy, and provides growth, maintenance, and health. Not all types of food are good for human consumption.

Living in today’s Nigeria is living barricaded in a den with famished lions and lionesses.  You live under constant stress; you die at a younger age than people die in other parts of stress free world, and you are forgotten sooner than you die. The purpose of this piece is first, to identify some of the things that make life in a Nigerian community precarious and not worth living. A precarious life is shaky, unstable, insecure, uncertain, unsafe, unsteady  There are aspects of Nigerian life that fill the stomach with bitter bile and cut folks’ lives short.

Life in Nigeria shortens the distance between the cradle and the grave yard in my beloved Nigeria. The second purpose of this essay is to suggest ways Nigerians and their governments can strive  to reduce stress at both the individual and national levels. What is stress?

Stress, according to the bulky 2129-page Webster’s New International Unabridged Dictionary this writer picked up at a flea market for the cost of 5 bananas,  is the “ strain, pressure, especially force exerted upon  a body that tends to strain of deform its shape.” Not every stress is negative in the sense that it is bad or noxious.

Some forms of stress are beneficial because they help us to get organized in order to respond to perceived threats that enable us to have important tasks accomplished in our lives. For example, one has to strain to get out of the bed and house to go to work and earn income to feed the family.

Normal human life is undeniably stressful. 

Human stress is the feeling one has when one is under pressure, strain, anxiety, constant worry, or nervous tension. It appears that the average Nigerian suffers a trauma similar to the extreme stress soldiers experience in the heat of battle. Post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) is the result of extreme hassle requiring medical and psychological interventions. Nigerian is a population in a pressure cooker constantly under pressure.

As a college professor, this writer notices that American college students face tremendous stresses related to classes they must attend that their professors have scheduled at inconvenient times. These classes often encroach upon other enjoyable activities that militate against stresses, such as dating, loafing around, or eating favorite foods at preferred rendezvous.

 In the case of Nigerian college students, crimes provide outlets in that it is common to reduce stress through activities of gangs of students who especially are drawn to bank robberies, kidnapping, and sales of illicit drugs.

Life in Nigeria is a long unbroken stretch of stress-riddled events. As this writer was growing up in Nigeria, older adults in the neighborhoods often said: “Oyia Lagos bu oyia ego” (Lagos sickness is sickness caused by money).  It is safe to say “Oyia ego bu oyia Nigeria” (Money problem is Nigeria’s sickness).  Money is at the root of a large proportion of stresses impinging upon  and likely to cut short lives of Nigerians almost in half.

May we ask:  Is lack of money the real culprit? No! Methinks the wrongdoer is the love of money. Nigerians love money and will do anything to acquire that money, including rob each other, prostitute their bodies,  kidnap neighbors, sell body parts, or sacrifice lives of loved ones at a voodoo priest’s shrines. It is pitiful.  Nigerians’ stress level is heightened by one thing, and that thing is greed. Greed is gluttony, or the habit of eating like a pig, and not knowing when one has enough and when to stop. Stress affects Nigerians in more ways than one looking inward from outside, can imagine.

This Nigerian trader at Lagos owns seven mansions at Abuja, Lagos, Awka , and in his home village. His home in the village is a mega mansion that he visits for just a week throughout the year. He has several large vehicles parked at each mansion.  He helps no one, pays no school fees for relatives, and contributes nothing to the community. The only contribution he makes to the world is the fare she pays for commercial fights to Dubai, Disney World, and London with his wife accompanied by children and a baby sitter.

Stress is evident when we are addicted to the pursuit of wealth and luxurious living. The more material things we acquire the more we remain unhappy and unsatisfied. The need to live large beyond reasonableness seems to be wired to our brains. It is always showmanship or competition with the Joneses to see who has more to waste.  Stories are told of Nigerians who have been overseas to witness Americans throw out cooked food. These overseas Nigerians send their maids out to throw foods such as rice, beans, chicken, and beef so neighbors would see and exclaim: “Ehe, they throw away food just as people do in America. Chei!”

We waste things and cannot manage resources well. We waste just to show neighbors that we have arrived from previous houses of poverty. For an example, Nigerian politicians are stressed to the extent they acquire the habit of stealing wealth by all means necessary even to the extent of wasting  it. These politicians steal not because they are hungry. They steal to impress girlfriends they are harboring in every Nigerian city and overseas cities, such as Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt, London, Washington DC, Johannesburg, or Ottawa.

When a typical Nigerian politician gets in Vono bed with a wife he hardly spends time with or with a baby (prostitute) and because he  cannot fuck, he makes up for his deficiency with stolen loots. He cannot fuck. As his fucklessness  begins to  multiply,  he suffers added stress from multiple failed organisms. He cannot perform the sexual act for many reasons. 

One, the politician is obese and out of shape and breath.  Two, he has diabetes, high blood pressure and an assortment of other health problems which renders fucking an impossible task and could kill him if he fucks harder than normal or uses more Viagra than needed. His family doctor could have easily discovered his illnesses and treated them iff (if and only if)  the unsuccessful fucker has  kept up with his regular medical check-ups. He dies in bed while fucking.

We make too many unnecessary commitments that make life stressful. A commitment is a promise, pledge, vow, obligation, assurance, binder, dedication, or loyalty.  We all have many commitments in our life, including commitments related to work, to our kids, and spouses,  to things we do at home and religious places of worship, other family, civic, side work, secrete societies, hobbies, online activities and more. These commitments come with tremendous amounts of stress.  For an example, a frivolous commitment leads  politicians to steal from the public treasury to purchase and furnish houses for a bevy of akwunakwuna ( prostitutes).

Other Stresses also come when we are too controlling of every facet of Nigerian life. The poor Nigerian who named his dog Buhari was promptly arrested by overzealous security personnel, and while he was in detention, some defenders of Buhari burglarized his residence just to kill the dog named Buhari.

Our desire to be all controlling, makes any Nigerian with a measure of power want to be the Master of this Universe, the Chief Money Grabber or First Lady, Head of the Chief Nation of Africa. Trying to control situations and people can be so stressful it kills the body, and only serves to increase our anxiety. We have to learn to let go, and accept the way other people do things, and accept what happens in different situations.

The only thing one can control is oneself. We ought to work on controlling self before we can consider trying to control the world.  Also, we ought to learn to separate us  from tasks  that should be better delegated to others. A major step towards eliminating stress is learning to let go of our need to control others, or to dictate how things ought to be done.

Stress is seen in the way we loathe or hate helping others. Helping others, whether volunteering for a charity organization or just making an  effort to be compassionate towards people you meet, not only gives you a very good feeling,  it somehow lowers our stress level. Of course, this doesn’t work if you try to control others, or help others in a very rushed and frenetic way. Let’s learn to take it easy, enjoy yourself, and let things happen, as you work to make the lives of others better.

We are under stress when we  ignore  to eat healthy or fail at regular exercise: Good eating goes hand-in-hand with exercise to prevent stress. We ought to avoid being addicted to greasy food, that puts us in worse mood and contributes to stress levels immediately. Ample evidence is seeping out that coconut oil can and does lower one’s chances of suffering AD or Alzheimer’s disease

Ingratitude is evidence of being under extreme stress. It is amazing how we are an ungrateful people. 

Developing an attitude of gratitude will help us to think positive, eliminate negative thinking from our life, and thereby reduce stress. Learning  to be grateful for what you have, for the people in your life, and see it as a gift from God. With this sort of outlook on life, stress will go down and happiness will go up.

We ought to cease being an undeniably difficult people. We are difficult when we disobey properly enacted laws that govern out conduct, when we disrespect,   insult or disobey persons over us, or when we engage in activities that make community life impossible. For examples, robbery of banks and other persons’ homes, or kidnapping neighbors for ransoms increase the flow of adrenalin in our bodies and increase our stress levels.

   

We are procrastinators and disorganized   We’re all so disorganized to the extent that even if we’ve managed to be organized something, and created a great system for keeping it that way, things tend to move towards chaos over time. But disorganization stresses us out, in terms of visual clutter, and in making it difficult to find stuff we need.

We ought to manage our time well, be orderly, and respectful of all people.

Finally but not the least,  we ought to take pride in our country, speak the truth, especially where other Nigerians are being maltreated.

By Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com, jamesagazies.blogspot.com

WHAT LESSONS CAN  NIGERIANS LEARN FROM US PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP?

The purpose of this essay is to discuss  how Nigerians ought to be wise and not foolish and how we Nigerians  have to grapple with the prospect of being looked upon as the most corrupt, the most foolish, and the most fucked-up nation led by the most evasive leaderships. Nigerians have been fools in more ways than one. Trump says Nigeria is a den of kleptomaniacs, stealing from their treasury and enriching their enemies.  Leaders of Nigeria, without exception, are authoritarian, using power to oppress and annihilate the powerless. Consider the mass beheadings of Christians in Benue State.  We mistake good governance with absolute cruelty.

 Nigerian merchants keep their people sick and unhealthy by importing dangerous food and worthless drugs.  Because Nigerians love to eat rice and noodles, the Chinese are flooding Nigerian markets with plastic rice and noodles which the Nigerian stomachs cannot digest and which can only be removed surgically.   

Trump wants to use the wealth of America to improve the lives of Americans. Can we say Nigerians are interested in bettering lives of our people by banning importation of essentials (such as rice, wheat, sugar, and medicines for malaria)  while not stimulating local production? Why do we sell our petroleum cheap to others to refine and sell back to us at exorbitant prices? Why do we bastardize our healthcare system only to send our ill to die in clinics overseas?  There are many ways in which we Nigerians have been foolish.

Trump extols/praises America and deprecates/lowers the ascendancy of competitors.  Ascendancy is the dominancy, superiority, preeminence, power, upper hand, or control others have over us. How more can we be foolish than to allow colonial masters to continue to control the very existence of empire servant? Trump would want all manufacturing concerns to relocate to America. Foolish Nigerians would rather give our good stuffs away  and go overseas to import useless luxury items that add little or no value to Nigerian economy. 

It is not always an insult when someone calls you a fool. What is foolish is to not stop to consider why someone should  have the audacity call you a fool. Were you actually behaving in a foolish way and deserve being called a nincompoop? Name calling is not often what it appears to be.A large proportion of ikonu (insulting name calling) can be a disguised blessing.  An India proverb goes this way:  “a fool stumbles over the same stone twice”. How many times have we Nigerians stumbled over the same pebble?  

Haven’t we Nigerians stumbled 55 times if each passing year represents a stumble?.A stumble is defined as a slip, trip, lurch, or falter. How many times are we going to fall to in order to realize that we have fallen? In the case of Nigerian, we did not just stumble. We fell flat on our faces. We went plump! We went kapoop and are finding it hard to get up.  

Many people reading this essay can remember this puerile song we learned in elementary school:  “Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, And Jill came stumbling after.” A crown is the earthen pot village girls used to carry water from streams in those beautiful, hard-to-forget days that are nostalgic, homesick,  wistful, reflective, melancholic, evocative, or regretful.

This writer has a friend who is Vice Chancellor at a large community college somewhere on the East Coast of the United States, and who called to rain abuses upon our recently elected US President, Donald Trump. This friend named Dr. O, says that Trump is, among other things, a fool, a poor administrator; a racist, intolerant of the disabled, egocentric, ethnocentric, and interested in running government only with and for the benefit of wealthy Americans. Dr. O and this writer agreed on one thing: Trump is xenophobic. Xenophobia denotes the fear and dislike of foreigners and other visitors.

The Vice Chancellor Dr. O argues that President Trump is egocentric  at best and extremely self-serving at worst. We further agreed that Trump’s mantra “Let’s make America Great Again” is created to obfuscate, to confuse or disguise the real message.   A mantra is a song, hymn, or tune President Trump has popularized. Trump’s “Let’s Make American Great” resonates an ethnocentric view that evaluates other groups according to the values and standards Trump and his Trumpets have set up in their own ethnic group.

Without judging Trump harshly and while giving him the benefit of the doubt, we realize that we cannot knock a man down for loving his country so much that he brags with gusto: “This is the best there is in the whole wide world ; all other places are bunkum, twaddle, hogwash, claptrap, or nonsense”.  Coming back to ethnocentrism, it is the belief lurking in Trump’s mind in the intrinsic superiority of the nation,  culture, or group  to which one belongs. Ethnocentrism is the dislike of competitive, gung-ho others. What lessons are many Nigerians going to learn from President Trump?

 First and foremost, Trump, is a no-nonsense person who shoves back when he is nudged. Have we ever had a Nigerian president or, leader who fights for the rights of Nigerians?

 The rights of Nigerians have been trampled underfoot for too long  by so many leaders that an average Nigerian is beginning to see himself as the Invincible Man in Ellison’s novel. The invisible Man is a nonentity to whom all sorts of evil are done and who affects nothing. Don’t we Nigerians  have a right to clean water, good roads, places to buy daily provisions at reasonable prices?  

The Naira fluctuates like a yoyo in the hands of a devil.

One important lesson this writer Is learning from Trump is this: Nigerians ought to develop pride in their own nation. We would rather put Nigeria on a pedal and other places than in the dumps. Why must I swallow everything American and  British  and downgrade the Nigerian culture?.  President Trump is definitely proud of America for giving him the incentive to amass money and become billionaire. An Igbo proverb says: “ebe onye no ka ona awachi,” meaning one fortifies where one lives. Am I proud of Nigeria for instilling in me such prideful values as honesty and fair dealing, respect for others, protectiveness of family, personal humility, and tenacity?  We Nigerians ought to wachie (fortify) our home.

To fortify is to make stronger, strengthen, reinforce, brace, buttress. One who does not fortify one’s house is said to weaken his compound and let robbers in. The ancients built a fortress to protect their cities. Trump’s threat to build great walls around the borders separating America and South America, though laughable, is not entirely frivolous.  The desire to build costly walls is motivated by the need to instill pride in Americans and prevent the inflow  of Illegal immigration, harmful drugs, and corrupting influences .

Trump wants to make America great as the bastion of hope and freedom . What is a bastion? A bastion is defined as  a stronghold, mainstay, fortress, citadel, support or supporter,  or promoter of good works. That President Trump is protective of America cannot be gainsaid, refuted, or argued with, though we may disagree with Trump’s modus operandus . Trump would rather fight than flee to preserve the values that are America.

Trump would rather kick out all others than have others kick America into submission. Persons Trump would like to kick out include but are not limited to violent criminals fired up or intoxicated with murderous religions that are predicated upon it-is-either-mine-or-none-at-all philosophy. How many more helpless Nigerians  are to be murdered by herders and professional beheaders  before the House,  Senate, or governorship  steps in to say “enough is enough?”

By Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com