HAPPINESS? WE NIGERIANS CAN HAPILY LEARN TO BE HAPPY

This essay is being written as a debt of gratitude to the little child that smiled and waved in the store. Oh! How I wished my Nigerian brethren and sisters could see and learn. The little child was happy in her mother’s arms as she smiled and waved. I waved back and smiled, then went home to write this essay.

Someone says that we Nigerians are a very unhappy people, and that might explain why our present predicaments persist ?  We take the enviable position that teaching Nigerians to be happy is not an impossible task. You ask, “What has happiness got to do with bad roads, 24-hour darkness, and joblessness?” We  ask: “Do you think it is possible to be happy in the midst of hell?  Why not?”  Satan is there happily going about his business. And  we think the negative conversations going on Nigeria right now are concentrated in only one word-unhappiness?

When Imo Governor Okorocha  created the Ministry of happiness and named his sister as the Minister, everyone, including this writer hooped and  nicknamed  Okorocha  Governor Akula (crazy Governor) of Imo State. If one pays closer attention , one cannot help but discover that our happiness is at the top of human needs at least in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. One who has  happiness is said to have contentment, pleasure, gladness, cheerfulness, joy, glee, peace, delight, or good time. Are you happy?

The purpose of this essay is to ask questions and suggest how happiness can be gotten. It is not impossible to bring happiness to pour as showers of blessings on the Nigerians.  Can happiness be taught? The answer is “Yes, happiness can be taught.”  This essay argues that anything  under the sun can be taught so long as the learner is willing to learn. Have you ever heard of  Psychologist  Dr. Arthur Whimbey? He is the author  of  Intelligence Can Be Taught, an extensive study on improving thinking skills. If how to think can be taught, it follows that people can be shown ways to improve their level of happiness.

At Yale University in New Haven,  Connecticut, college students are being taught to be happy and increase levels of their happiness. The Yale University has the most popular course  which has about 1,200 students each semester, or nearly one-fourth  (25%) of Yale undergraduates,. Students are  going ga-ga with excitement over the course. The course is named Happiness is gaiing popularity. The course requires students to change certain habits and ways of approaching life.

We Nigerians need and want to change , to go from one uncomfortable extreme to a more comfortable point, The Nigerians want  to  be happier themselves, and to change the culture  of the country, the culture of tribalism, the culture of poverty, the culture of youth and women powerlessness, and of unemployment. Why not?

From a recent trip to Nigeria this writer has taken and daily conversations with folks back home and interviews with recent returnees from Nigeria, this writer is convinced that things can turn around in our country.  For a fact, a good number of us Nigerians are anxious, stressed, unhappy, numb, and we have a number of mixed emotions both positive and negative thoughts bottled up inside us.  We are torn inside between staying in Nigeria we love and forsaking Nigeria that hates us. Hence our willingness to endure disgraceful slavery in Libya  What follows is a list of suggestions a true Nigeria can explore in order to improve personal happiness. This list is not exhaustive: more factors  can be added.

EXERCISE: Exercise daily for at least 30 minutes, not by long distance running or strenuous activities, such as wrestling or boxing. Brisk walking, golf, swimming, lawn tennis, dancing, or ping-pong is a good way to start.

SLEEP: Getting adequate sleep  for 8 hours each night is essential.  Sleep helps our bodies to recover from the injuries and pent-up  and stressful feelings of the previous day. Sleep  repairs our bodies in the process, and it also helps  us focus and be more productive in the morning.  The importance of sleep  to overall happiness cannot be overemphasized or underestimated.

FAMILY : Living closer to your school or place of work makes a lot of sense. Moving around in Nigeria is nerve-wracking, bone-breaking and full of headaches, especially when one does not have a reliable mode of transportation. Traffic in Lagos, Abuja or any of the major Nigerian cities can be perplexing, expensive and takes all day to negotiate. Having large expensive mansions in the villages is useless since most mansions are unoccupied, and nobody wants to stay in villages as opposed to  being in the cities where the action is.

FRIENDS:  Spend time with good friends and family; avoid being a rolling stone that gathers no moss, wandering around Nigeria with an unknown address. You might be found dead and nobody is there to bury you, Choose your friends carefully, avoiding the 419 experts, the gang members, and those who are caught up in illegal activities, including armed robbery, kidnapping, and human trafficking.

GO OUTSIDE: Mix with people from different tribes  and not just your own tribe. Chat with persons your age and educational  background  from your tribe and other tribes wherever you are in Nigeria. Learn to speak a language other than just your mother tongue, plus pidgin English.

SMILES: Practice good smiles.  Nobody likes a face that is unsmiling, sour, stern, severe, dour, grim-faced, disapproving, death-like, or just ugly. Practice smiling before the mirror to make the best pose. Let your face be amused,   mused, laughing, pleased, tickled, entertained, beaming, grinning, or pleasant. Beauty begins from the inside, not necessarily on the exterior. A  smile is worth a thousand words  Don’t you eat food that first looks good in your eyes?

 TRIPS: Plan interesting trips even if you are stuck in Lagos or Akure.  Visit other parts of the country to get a feel of what a wonderful place Nigeria  is. As you travel, form a habit of meeting and interacting with interesting persons you can invite for a return visit. Strike lasting relationships. Remember you cannot marry your mother or sister, and your mother does not make the only sweep pot of soup in your neck of wood. And now this. 

Remember that Nigeria is made up of not just Hausa, Igbo, and Yoruba but almost other 371 ethnicities. Spread your wings. Fly. The more languages you can converse in the better a Nigerian you are and the greater your chances of finding employment, happiness, and love.

MEDITATE: Recharge and rewire your brain as an automobile needs a battery to recharge its engine. To meditate is to  deliberate, ponder, contemplate, cogitate,  consider, contemplate, reflect, ruminate, muse, or to think clearly. Praying and attending church services and reading the Bible are ways to meditate.

GRATITUDE: Practice gratitude, defined  as thankfulness.  Remember  people  who have helped you along the way in your struggles. Keep  in touch with your helpers. Send thank-you cards or a little money to your helpers. Don’t make promises you cannot keep.  Don’t be just a receiver. Be a giver too. 

Bless other people. Sharing yourself with others would allow God’s blessings to follow  you, overtake you in such a mighty way you wouldn’t have enough room to store the blessings. Nothing is worse than an ungrateful spirit. You owe a debt of gratitude to countless people, including this writer.

HELPFULNESS: Helping others  is fundamental to our happiness. Helping other people is good for them as well as good for us.  It makes us happy to be able to  improve our nation, it creates better connections  by giving to others ,and it creates the spirit of One Nigeria. Everything is not always about money for our pockets.  Share. Sharing yourself with others would allow God’s blessings to  flow through you, follow  you, overtake you in such a mighty way you wouldn’t have enough room to store the blessings. Nothing is worse than an ungrateful spirit.

We can give our time, our ideas, and talents. We can reach out to help someone struggling to buy food or pay rent, someone needing help to pay hospital bill or to care for an elderly parents or the handicapped. Do some acts of kindness today. Offer to help, give away your change, pay a compliment, or make someone smile. Donate your unused clothing, shoes, or old vehicles.

MONEY: You have heard it said that the love of money is the root of all evils. Money is a good servant but a bad master. Love of money leads one to steal, kill, become a prostitute, or to go into witchcraft or secret societies. Make do with your wages and manage your money well  without  living above your means. You’ve heard it said: “One who goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.” It means a borrower would regret being a debtor. Make do with what you have. Economize and live below your means,

TRAINING: Get as much education and training as you can. Today’s job opportunities are in the sciences, mathematics, engineering, and technology. Observe where the trends are and follow. You need an education to do whatever you want to do, even if it is trading. Uneducated traders do not have the calculation to buy and sell and make profits without help.

Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com

Written  1/29/2018 at 1:27pm

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