NIGERIANS CAN HAVE GREATER FAITH IN THEIR NATION

Fighting corruption  and protecting the treasury from looters alone cannot save Nigeria; it does not make a dent on the things troubling us .Nigeria is much more than a vehicle that is involved in a  ghastly accident.  Removing dents and replacing bolts here and there would not do the job. There must be a new awakening of faith, and one way to lose faith is to engage in stupendous lying.

This writer listened to a sermon being preached  at the First United Methodist Church in Georgia, on  Sunday, October 2, 2016 just a day after Nigerian and her people had celebrated the nation’s birthday. It was a good discourse. The Pastor, a huge muscular African American,  was preaching a sermon based  on faith.

His topic was centered on  “Increase Our faith.”  His Scriptures came from Luke 17: 5-10, where Jesus was  teaching on the limitations of faith. If you are non-Christian and take offense at the mention of the name Jesus, perhaps you need to work on your faith.  If your religion does not teach anything on faith, perhaps you need to change religion and cease being agnostic/disbeliever.

The Independence Day speeches of President Buhari and other well-wishers delivered on October 1, 2016 on the joyous  occasion of the end of colonial rule in Nigeria seemed to center on faith,  faithfulness, and the need for Nigerians  to keep  faith alive in their hearts. In his speech, Buhari declared:  “I know that uppermost in your minds today is the common crisis. The recession for many individuals and families is real.” The President expressed his faith in the country by stating: “I believe that this recession will not last.”

Positive faith energizes a nation for faith has the might of a hydrogen bomb.  However, faith based on mere words is rhetoric, oratory, publics speaking, speechmaking, or speechifying . Many people know, knew, and have known  the importance of faith.

According to Apostle Paul,  “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  Read it in Epistle to the Hebrews  chapter 11 at verse1. The First United Methodist Church Pastor said several things about faith. First, there are “seeds of faith.”  Secondly, there are steps to develop faith and thirdly, there are factors that militate against or stand in the way of developing faith.

The purpose of this essay is to struggle with the question of why faith is elusive in my country.  Why do we continue to be a faithless nation, and why  do we Nigerians continue to suffer hardships  56 years after emancipation from the thralldom of colonialism? We can safely state arguendo that the idea of faith expressed in the words and actions of President Buhari and the Buharians and all Nigerians who are reading this essay,  is misplaced for obvious reasons.

Arguendo is a Latin tern meaning “for the sake of argument.” The term indicates that this essay is written as a matter of argument or illustration only,  It is not  a call to take up arms against the Government of Nigeria. While we are still in pursuit of an argument, may we ask: what does it take to make us a faithful generation and to bring the Nigerians to the foot of mountainous faith? How can we develop faith that has been elusive in our nation for long? It is easy to answer the foregoing questions with: “we are faithless because we are faithless Nigerians, our nation is faithless, and Buhari and all of our leaders are all faithless.”

If that is our position, then our position becomes a classic case of tautology, verbiage, circumlocution, or redundancy. These terms have shared meaning of the use of more words than are necessary, tautology meaning an unnecessary or meaningless repetition of an idea, statement or word. That is the problem with Nigerians: we talk too much and do too little.

Although we Nigerians go to houses of worship more frequently and build more churches and mosques than necessary,  we are faithless because we lack spirituality, for faith belongs in the spiritual realm, We are all liars!. Our President is a liar, All governors of the 36 states of Nigeria are all liars. All of our government contractors are liars. In Nigeria, lies are commonplace, and there are lies anywhere Nigerians congregate in the market, at church, and in the bedroom.

All of our present and former leaders, including Obasanjo, Tinubu, Azikiwe, Ahmadu Bello, Akpabio, Jonathan and the rest of those masquerading as leaders are boldface liars. They are all awaiting the opportunities to squander the treasury or make our money disappear. The Igbo governors, including Okorocha (also known as OkoroHausa or OkoroFulani) are charades. A charade is a synonym  for pretense, farce, travesty, imitation, simulation, or make-believe.

Former President Obasanjo deserved special condemnation. He creates more confusion than understanding, often encouraging African dictators (Zimbabwe’s Joseph Mugabe and South Africa’s Jacob Zuma, for instance) to stay in power by causing palaver (trouble). An elder statesman like Obasanjo ought to be a disciplined beacon of hope, inspiration, reconciliation, development, and understanding rather than boisterous king-maker Caesar to whom all things Africa belong. Obasanjo does not own my country, let alone put the world in selfish pockets.   Let the truth be known!

The Igbo and Yoruba leaders tell lies through clenched teeth. It is safe to wager that we are faithless because we are untrue to an allegiance or duty, also false to promises. What happens to our old national anthem?.  We Nigerians are false to a person, cause, or country when loyalty is due or expected.

Words used to describe us include traitorous, treacherous, faithless, and perfidious. Being traitorous involves the act of treason or any serious betrayal or breach of loyalty. One who is treacherous is likely to betray a trust or confidence. Look at Nigerians making away with millions of dollars and billons of Naira they cannot spend in several lifetimes or years.

Being faithless means being untrue to an allegiance, or duty, also, false to promises. Finally, a perfidious Nigerian is not only disloyal but also base or corrupt in character . How many of our politicians and judges have been accused of corruption?  

Our Nigerian flag symbolizes corruption, oppression and tribalism. Our false religion creates strife and division. Our religious holidays are our most segregated days. They are scorching our children and making our youth seek ways to leave the country in droves to perish as okporoko (stockfish)  in hot deserts or drown in deep seas . Why is the new national anthem  telling me: “ Arise, O compatriot”?

 I Anyamiri am your compatriot? Stop kidding me! You have not made me feel like a neighbor, fellow citizen, or Nigerian national. Your claims are as false as  a counterfeit dollar and as  poisonous as a  serpent’s tongue.. Peace, justice and freedom are foreign to my trained Nigeria ear. Quit lying to me for once. Can’t you tell why most Nigerian like the old national anthem and despise the new one? Consider our OLD NATIONAL ANTHEM

Nigeria we hail thee,
Our own dear native land,
Though tribe and tongue may differ,
In brotherhood we stand,
Nigerians all, and proud to serve
Our sovereign Motherland.

Our flag shall be a symbol
That truth and justice reign,
In peace or battle honour'd,
And this we count as gain,
To hand on to our children
A banner without stain.

O God of all creation,
Grant this our one request,
Help us to build a nation
Where no man is oppressed,
And so with peace and plenty
Nigeria may be blessed. 

Consider our NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM:

Arise, O compatriots

Nigeria's call obey

To serve our fatherland

With love and strength and faith

The labour of our heroes past

Shall never be in vain

To serve with heart and might

One nation bound in freedom

Peace and unity.

Oh God of creation

Direct our noble cause

Guide our leaders right

Help our youth the truth to know

In love and honesty to grow

And living just and true

Great lofty heights attain

To build a nation where peace

And justice shall reign.

Going back to the sermon, the Pastor said that faith comes from a tiny mustard seed, that develops into a robust tree on which birds build their nests. From what seeds are Nigerians building their faith?  There are three small steps to the development of robust faith. The first step has to do with learning, defined as a relatively permanent change in behavior  (both overt and covert) that results from training or experience. Training is acquiring new skills through conscious efforts.  So long as the Nigerians, including their government and politicians  are unwilling to take advantage of learning, they shall continue on a long “ trek of tears.”

If Nigerians and their government and policy makers  shall learn to sow seeds of love rather than hatred, trust  rather than distrust,  and  belief rather than suspicion  in the hearts of Nigerian citizens, things will turn around. Nigerians’ faith in the nation shall not cease to be elusive so long as learning is not taking place as it should. We have mentioned seeds of faith. What seed? Nigerians have no seeds to plant  during food production  seasons let alone seeds to grow the nation. Don’t  Nigerians  import seeds such as corn, rice, and beans form ndi ocha (white men)?

We Nigerians need to plant seeds of forgiveness. So a few Igbo men toppled the civilian government of Balewa-Ahmadu Bello? Is that the birth of Nigeria’ s violence and brutality? So what did that mean? Is a government set up by one group expected to be  go unchallenged and not vanquished by another? My elder brother tore down my father’s old house built in 1920; he  dismantled what took my father buckets of sweat  and tears to build on a monthly salary of 10 pounds 10 shillings (one guinea  or less that 15 dollars). The old house had to  be torn down  to make way for a modern edifice. We ought to initiate change.  Change ought to occur and new learning ought to make change possible in our daily lives.

 Changes in human affairs are accomplished either by peaceful means or by means that are not so peaceful.  Give me the ballots or give me the gun. One way Nigerians can learn faith is for the people to practice to forgive their neighbors. Nigerians ought to forgive the excesses of Major General Nzeogwu his fellow Igbo soldiers who staged the first military coup that threw the country into the Nigeria-Biafra conflict (1967-1970).

 Here is the significant point. Faith will not be achieved so long as a blanket of ill-will continues to flourish in the minds of some Nigerians, and this ill-will continues to poison hearts against a particular subset of citizens, namely, the Igbos against whom dangerous resentment and mistreatment are directed in many forms, including animosity, hostility, ill feeling, antagonism, malice,  harshness, hard feelings, oppression, disenfranchisement , and denial of the opportunity to participate in governance and business as full citizens of the country.

Why must the behavior  of Major General Kaduna Nzeogwu  and his fellow Igbo soldiers who toppled the government of President Nnamdi Azkiwe and Prime Minister Tafawa Balewa,  affect and continue to affect the lives of  millions of Nigerian and former Biafran children.   Some of these children  have not heard of Biafra War, never participated in conflicts, and were born before Biafra .

Some innocent children were  murdered in cold blood. Some were starved to death with kwashiorkor when food was wantonly withheld from ballooned stomachs. Others were cruelly gutted out of mothers’ bellies in Northern Nigerian cities. An act is wanton when done without  a thought or care given to the rights, feelings, or safety of others. Who told you that there is no life in blood? The ancient Hebrews were forbidden to eat blood because blood contains the very life Who says this blood is not rising to haunt the conscience of Nigerians? Call it superstition if you wish. 

 How can Nigeria and Nigerians move ahead if you continue to oppress and disenfranchise the Igbo people? How do you build national unity when you keep a tribe back based on the youthful exuberance of Major General  Nzeogwu and a few Igbo soldiers? A behavior is considered exuberant when done by inexperienced and faithless young boys. Our cultist  son Boyboy who carries a pot of juju  to the WAEC examination hall is not different than  Nzeogwu carrying  mutiny to the Nigerian Army.  Let’s talk about it!

Here is a point of faith worthy of consideration: there will be an atmosphere of faithlessness (lack of faith) in Nigeria where there is  the absence of a well articulated vision. The people (Nigerians) perish where there is no vision. A vision is the dream, hallucination, apparition, mental picture, image, revelation, or the big idea Nigerian leaders foster in the minds  of citizens.

What do we expect Nigerians to become in 20 years? Nigerians can build factories to manufacture Japanese, Korean and Chinese vehicles. Nigerians  can be assembling line workers for the millions of goods floating around the world. Nigerians can be in the forefront of efforts to defeat global warming and hunger in many parts of the world. There is no limit to the exploits of Nigerians if thoughts and plans are put into actions.   

Here is another dimension of faith: there is no faith without a price tag, or without work. In other words, nothing ventured nothing have, If you , don’t expect to harvest yams, do not plant yam seedlings. Faith is service in action. It is an obligation to give back to society what is owed. 

Nigeria owes a  lot to Nigeria and Nigerians owe a lot that cannot be easily repaid to their countrymen and women. How do we pay the debts? Nigerian ought see to it that Nigerians have opportunities to give back through gainful employment . You earn enough money to  take care of your personal needs and  pay your taxes for the uplift of the entire society. Igbos often say”Igwebuike,” meaning there is strength in unity.  The broom can sweep what a single reed cannot do.

 It is reasonable to expect the minds of Nigeria and the lovers of Nigeria to be focused on how we ought to have faith and believe in our nation, despite all seemingly glaring pieces of evidence to the contrary, that all is well and shall be well with NIGERIA. Is faith enough to pull us through? How do we have faith in something we’ve not seen in 56 long years?”

Consider the case of a Nigerian secondary school boy we shall name Boyboy who is in intense horror of upcoming West African School Certificate Examination. Said to himself: “Faith, do not fail me.”  Boyboy needs some assurance (another name for faith) that he would be successful in the WASC examination.

During a trip to his juju man, Boyboy was assured that the little bundle of charms he has had paid for, would deliver good WASC results. All he had to do during the examinations was to stand up and give commands in a loud voice to the bundle of charms to split the examination paper into Section A (Questions)  and Section B.(Answers) . The juju man’s specific instruction was to copy the answers from Section B into his long foolscap paper.  It was simple and clear cut. Our young secondary school student Boyboy had full faith in his juju. It would be wonderful  if only Nigerians can have such faith in their country!

 For all practical purposes, faith is not juju; it is not what you can buy from Ogbete Market  or  witchcraft market  in Ogbomosho. The term faith is a misnomer; it is overused to the point it is becoming as useless as the term love. A misnomer is a misapplied or inappropriate name or designation. It is an error in the naming of a person or thing. Nobody knows what faith is, and few people can tell how we develop faith to overcome a violent crime of armed robbery, kidnapping , or malarial fever.

 Isn’t faith tantamount to the desire for an education?  Faith is our hope  to dig a deep well and find a  clean water supply that is not mixed with sewage, What is our faith leading us to believe will happen in and to Nigeria in 100 years? Faith is active in that it is lively, vigorous, energetic, full of life, on the go, full of zip, or dynamic. No bomb is more powerful than faith when it is fully activated because the bomb itself is merely a single product of faith.

Our young examination Boyboy had strong faith that the bundle of charms he had paid twenty thousand Naira (N20,000 = 50 American dollars) would deliver ebenebe (unspeakable) results of  distinction  (A plus) in all the eight subjects.  He stood up during the first examinations and began  giving commands at first in a low voice. His voice rose higher and higher when the examination Question paper failed to split into two, when he did not see the answer portion to copy from.

His fear escalated as his desire to avoid 8 Failures soared and became murderous.  Boyboy began shouting in the examination hall at the top of his lungs. A group of proctors/invigilators  who served as examination police swooped down to tackle Boyboy. It was a stampede, a  fight or mad rush, at a young, fragile boy. Swoop! Swoon! Plunge! Pounce! Chinekemoo (Oh, my God)!

 It was similar to what happens at the goal area at Nigerian soccer match, or scrimmage at American football game. This is what you witness non-paying fans do at the entrance of a football stadiums at Lagos, Enugu, or Port Harcourt. They rush in as enyimba (big, stubborn elephant) to stampede an ant. You would think another Biafran War were being fought all over. Boyboy is thrown out bruised, humiliated, defeated, and without the WASC.

 The next thing to happen was that our son Boyboy (who dreaded and  was expecting 8 Failure grades) was thrown forcibly to the floor and dragged  bleeding  out of the large hall to the relief of other  examination takers . “Get that fool out of here “ was the general sigh of relief.                                   

Is faith sufficient to carry us through recession, moral and economic crisis? Who is the father of faith and where does faith come from. Does faith exist in a vacuum like the genie in a bottle? Faith is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

Asked another way, do Buhari and his fellow citizens have what it takes to comprehend the unfathomable, often   obscure phenomenon called belief?  Asked rhetorically, didn’t the examination boy’s  bundle of charms represent  his faith/belief system,  and why was it insufficient to produce  the desired WAEC results he wanted? Rhetoric relates to or is concerned with the art of speaking or writing effectively. We must go beyond the rhetorical to the practical. Specific ways to instill (nay, invigorate, energize, refresh, rejuvenate, stimulate, or animate) faith in the fearful  breasts of Nigerians may include:

·         Stop alternating Presidency between the Fulanis and  the Yorubas; other tribes do matter.

·         Let the Presidency come from another minor tribe, such as the Tiv, Idoma, Ijaw, or Utogbono.

·         Destroy the dangerous attitude of NAIRA (Never Allow Igbo Rule Again); Igbos have not had the opportunity  to serve as executive head.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com, jamesagazies.blospot .com

Dr. Agazie is Professor of Education and Psychology.

                                                                                                                                                      

HEY, NIGERIANS, LET’S TURN AROUND; LET’S CHANGE

Heaven and earth will not pass away, if President Buhari along with his governing team, including the Senate and House Members, State Governors, CBN managers, and the so-called shakers and movers in my country,  gather all Nigerians around them to announce: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have tried this thing for 56 years with some success and some lessons to be learned. It is time for another team of young leaders to take over. We wish to exit now but we shall be around to provide pieces of advice as elder Statesmen and Stateswomen. Good Bye.” 

The aim of this essay is first to advocate a change in the ways we Nigerians do things and second; to recount ways this writer has changed as a person and college teacher. Change must occur within us before we can be effective change agents. Why must I attempt to change your and others’ behavior and attitudes and still remain unchanged? We Nigerians in politics and business are urged to metamorphose and see ourselves for what we truly are: WE ARE PUBLIC SERVANTS AND CHANGE AGENTS. These terms need to be defined.

Public is defined as being free, civic-minded, communal, open, or unrestricted. Servant is one who waits on others; a man or woman who sees to it that others are waited on in a timely and efficient manner. Public trust must be maintained at all costs, Therefore, every Nigerian who is elected or appointed to an office is there to cater to the needs of the general public at whose pleasure he or she is occupying the position. A servant is not there to serve himself or herself. While we're on the subject, the appropriate motto for all good Nigerian leaders is “First of all Servant of All.” Jesus  the Good Shepherd has told us that the first shall be the last and the last the first. We must change! Our song shall be:

One Two Three and Four! We’re Servants, working for Nigeria

In the name of the Country we shall all change

One Two Three and Four! We’re Soldiers working for our country

In the name of Nigeria we shall conquer   

To change demands that we alter, modify, vary, transform; that we revolutionize, adjust, amend, or modify old habits. Change is the spice of life and without change existence will be meaningless, without sugar, salt or condiments. A change is like taking bath in a warm milk and wearing a new flowing garb. It is like taking a purgative medicine like Castor oil or Epsom salt to clear our system of poisonous debris or rubbish that causes blockages leading to ill-health. Change is refreshing, creating easy-flowing bowels while when done right, while sameness produces aching constipation.

When we say change, we mean we should make a conscious effort at an about-turn, reversal, turnaround, U-turn, or improvement. We are suggesting that time has come for Nigerians to take an introspective look inward, to take stocks and effect needed changes in the way we think, behave, feel, and are. If you do not or cannot change to become a better Nigerian, my brother or sister, you have succeeded in becoming nothing. You are stuck in the birth canal of your mother and unable to come out.  If I can change and you too can change, we Nigerians can all change. We ought to demand that it is high time our leaders changed and stopped behaving as divine-right, despotic monarchs. It is time they started behaving as public servants. There is absolute strength is humility and servant-hood.

Oh, yes. I, this writer, James Agazie, have changed tremendously, and it makes me happy. As a young Professor with a bunch of degrees and little commonsense and a large ego inflated with crass arrogance so much one could easily mistake me for God’s gift to the world, I felt the world owed me a debt of obeisance; that the earth revolved, not around the sun, but around my little persona. Obeisance is the bob, nod, bend, or curtsy; the type the Yorubas do upon meeting their elders on the streets. I was mouthy, I was tough on students, and I demanded perfection as if my mother were named Excellence; my father Faultlessness, and my children were Rightness, Exactness, Precision, and Flawlessness.

Teachng was like being completely straight-jacketed.  A straight jacket has long arms which can be tied together behind wearer's back. The straight jacket is used to control the movements of a violent prisoner or patient who might do harm to self or others. I became my own worst enemy. I was a Mugabe of my little village named Zimbabwe where a dollar is worth a million Naira. My ego was getting the better of me. I was overblown with conceit. I was so stuffed up with excreta I couldn’t shit, and my feeling of self-importance was overbearing.  

I was like that until reality hit. Reality hit like Ebola.  I reeled in pain. You know: it takes force to move an object a millionth of a centimeter from its original position. It dawned on me that, like many Nigerian Presidents, State Governors, Senators, CBN Governors, and Department heads, I am finite, mortal, restricted, fixed, predetermined, as opposed to infinity, perpetuity, or time without end. I must change or I die an old fool of premature ruin. I must go through a complete change in order to survive in a changing world. My body goes through changes every passing second, despite how seemingly minute or insignificant the change.

At the beginning of each college class, I am lecturing my students about the new me; the changed me; and the self that is slowly emerging. It shall emerge  and shall last for the remaining years of my personal and professional journey n’elu uwa oma nkaa Chukwu kere (on this beautiful earth God has created). I feel lighter, less pressured, and more relaxed. I tell you this: there is tremendous joy in self transformation, self change, self renovation, or character makeover.

I dropped using the term “Doctor” before my name. I became James Agazie. The Chair of my Department became alarmed. He said: “You must go by Doctor Agazie because it’s a great honor that many people do not attain.” The more I continue going without the title Doctor, and being contented with Mister, the more I see my Chairman and Departmental secretaries get confused and alarmed. They yell Doctor and Professor after me while passing in the hallways. The Dean would call me Doc with a smile stretching from ear to ear. I said to him: “Dean, Sir, if ever I make a mistake, never hesitate to call my attention.” The Dean replies: “You’re alright, Doc.” I say: “Thank you for cheering me.”

I continue to announce to my incredulous class: “ I am not the boss around here. You are the Bosses. I am only a servant, the facilitator. I am here to see that you succeed and not fail.” The result is magic. The level of class attendance and participation increased exponentially. I requested that a student check the attendance, enter grades in the roll book, and come after me to elaborate on points that are confusing. I ask the students to evaluate me as a class project and provide suggestions on how to improve instructions and testing in order to make class more interesting.

Students ask that discussions and debates should be our pedagogical/teaching style rather than boring lectures. We are becoming excellent debaters. At the end of the semester, I am going to ask the class to make a Termination/Retention decision and take it to Department, recommending whether I should be dismissed or given further job. Although Change is frightening and makes us uncomfortable, the benefits are great. Change must come at all costs, no matter whose ego is bruised or whose job or salary is forfeited. Change is a lifesaving experience, involving rescue, resuscitation, first aid, protection, security, or shelter.   Leaders are charged with the responsibility to protect the nation and nationals.

It is often said that the greatest battle one can wage is the struggle to change oneself, including bad thinking, problem behavior, and unproductive adddictions.  When something is no longer working for you, what do you do? You change it, you switch it off and move on to something better. You turn off the offending whatchamaculit by manipulating the on-off knob.

You have been up all night studying for an exam till wee hours of daybreak and you need to catch some sleep before heading to the examination hall, Do you forget to switch off the light so you can shut overworked eyes in peace in darkness for a few hours? Remember your days in boarding school when the generator was shut down at midnight and students were ordered to sleep in order to avoid so-called brain fag (another name for depression caused by extreme anxiety).

No sooner had the generator been silenced than student after student brings out lighted kerosene lamps hidden in wooden prisons in order to continue cramming. Therefore when school officials turn off the generator to save money spent on gasoline or to enhance student’s mental health, the bad habit continues to exist underhandedly, deceitfully, fraudulently, corruptly, unfairly, falsely, or by lying. We Nigerians persist in cramming bad habits.

Often done by students when facing upcoming exams, especially as the last minute plan, cramming is often frowned upon by educators because it results in hurried coverage of  large amounts of material and tends to result in poor long-term retention and great forgetfulness.  Most common among high school and college-aged students, cramming is often used as a means of memorizing large amounts of information in a short amount of time.

Crammers are often forced to cram after improper time utilization or in efforts to understand information shortly before being tested. Procrastinations and cramming are closely related in that the victims often waste time partying with and chasing after lovers when they should be studying. Now they are running helter scepter, burning the candle on both ends when they ought to be resting from throbbing headaches and painful, watery eyes in order to deal with confusing examination papers in the morning. Cramming is a product of laziness and improper time management.

We Nigerians are often cramming when anyi na etinye akwa n’ile na ofu nkata ( we put all of our proverbial eggs in one straw basket). Don’t we know the eggs may crack each other when the thin shells are in close proximity or the basket may develop a tear and the eggs fall to the stony path? Consider our love affairs with gasoline dug from oil wells as a type of addictive cramming.   

Almost 90 percent of the Nigerian economy depends upon manu (oil, petrol. gasoline).  If something happens to oil, the whole Nigeria will grind to a shrieking, squeaking, squealing, screaming halt.  This writer texted a friend who is seeking employment in Anambra State and who is armed with the MA in Economics, MSc in Political Science; and the PhD in International Relations and Development. “How now about jobs in Nigeria?” I asked.

The response was: “ It has been two yrs since I have been in Nigeria . The current dollar is absurd.  Nobody is hiring at the moment due to economic recession… I applied for a job at the university  of which I have not received  positive response because of a freeze on hiring. I don’t know the governor nor anybody in power.”

The Nigerian government at the Federal, State, and local levels, are filled with persons who are inexperienced in identifying needs of the communities they serve, particularly in the areas of employment and social services 

Crammers are incessantly given to procrastination. Wikipedia defines procrastination as the avoidance of doing a task which needs to be accomplished. It is the practice of doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable one. Pleasurable tasks in Nigeria and for Nigerians include town meetings where everyone goes by Chief, Alhaji, His Highness,or some other abracabra titles;  there are lavish weddings where trays of goat meat are placed in the middle of the floor for guests to marvel at , and alcohol beverages flow like River Nigeria. The mood seems to be: “Let’s eat and be merry for tomorrow Nigeria will ease to exist.”

Ever wonder why State governors and politicians are crammers who pat themselves in the back when their so-called highest accomplishment on record has been building beer brewers all over the State to keep folks drunk to death so they forget their worries? Ever wonder why cattle herders destroy people farms or why politicians cannot think outside the restrictive box?  They create few employment opportunities for the young. They see little use for good roads. They see nothing wrong with telling their people:  “Starve if you cannot make bread with cassava or garri. Why are you crying for wheat?”

However, a politician, who truly wants to be a change agent, grabs a hoe and heads to the garden to till the stony, stubborn soil; sow a seed; and pray for rainfall. Nigeria can change if each of us follows these small, simple steps:

·        Dialogue with each other about the need for change.

·        Identify areas where change is needed and initiate action that should not be interpreted as being violence or supportive of insurrection, uprising or the forceful overthrow or change of the Nigerian government.

·        Confront your elected and appointed office holders in offices and demand for town meetings to discuss areas needing change in the community

·        Cease, stop,  die away from, bring to a halt your ignorant worship of power just to eat a plate of rice and bowl of chicken pepper soup.

·        Shy away from singing the praises of and dancing “sweet mother” or “owambe” at the homes of thieves who manage to defraud your government of public funds

·        Turn your back on pastors and juju priests who preach pie-in-the sky sermons and and produce foul smelling concoctions to attract riches, or protection from arrests.

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By James C. Agazie, jamesgazie@gmail.com, See Blog: jamesagazies.blogspot.com 

THE WORST THINGS PARENTS DO IN NIGERIA AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

My country is in the worst shape it has ever been since we gained independence from Great Britain. What was happening earlier  was kids’ stuff compared to  whet is  presently taking place.  It was ignorance then. Now, it is total barawo, a sort of obodo ndi ori (city of armed robbers), the West African  Sodom and Gomorrah. Something  has not been clean in the milk since we came out of colonialism. Now, the milk is putrid and full of ikpuru (maggots), and no one can drink it. Something got to give. There is so much confusion in Nigeria. There is grave insecurity in the daily life of the common people as lives and property are being brazenly vandalized. Poor Nigerian leadership is a function of poor parenting, of being raised by ignorant Papa and Mama  who do not know where N and A go in the spelling of N-I-G-E-R-I-A.

 On the whole, things are relentlessly falling apart. President Buhari and some morally upright Nigerians have decried  Nigerians’ anything-will-go  lifestyle of utter indiscipline. Our country teeters, totters, stagers, dodders, hovers, wobbles on the brink of anarchy. The Battle of Armageddon looms in the horizon. Nigerian parents have abdicated their responsibility to nourish the young who continue to be sheep without a sensible shepherd. Who shall help snatch us from insanity in our disordered Nigerian society? Who is messing us up? Look no farther than Nigerian parents. They are the people we expect to be our rescuers, our indomitable Papa and Mama. Are they doing meaningful rescuing jobs? The answer is an emphatic “No”! They are worsening the situation.  All the bad Nigerians masquerading as so-called leaders from A to Z are products of households headed by Nigerian parents who lack self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy emanates from the social-learning theory of psychologist Albert Bandura, and is concerned with "the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required managing prospective situations. In other words, self-efficacy is a parent’s belief in his or her ability to succeed in a particular situation, such as raise a responsible child. Can the parent believe he or she can influence how Nigerians think, behave, and feel?

                The purpose of this essay is not to reinvent the old wheel of acrimonious and sanctimonious, blame-the-innocent-victim sermonizing. Nigerian parents are not a group of the innocent they appear to be. They are the deplorable. They are not the guiltless victims of unfortunate Nigerian circumstances; they created the circumstances in the first place. Our Nigerian parents have guilt painted on their faces, and they know it. The Nigerian parents are willing participants in crime if one considers that our children are being cheated out of a glorious future, while everyone stands by, watching the demise of what once was “Our Own Dear Motherland/Fatherland.”  

Listen up, Nigerians parents!  You cannot continue to go scot-free as you have been doing from generation to generation. We’ve caught up with your games.  You’re not even doing the job entrusted to your care by Jehovah. Your pretenses are deplorable and should be over and done with. Get rid of your pretenses with very deliberate speed. The survival of our country depends on how deliberate that speed was.  Many serious and grievous charges are being laid on your parental shoulders.

                First, you fail to give the babies you are uncontrollably producing the opportunity to experience normal childhood. Why don’t you practice birth control as the rest of the world does? You keep stretching Nigeria’s population beyond manageable limits. Though you may mean well, but you are going about it the wrong way. Why do you believe what your warped thinking mind tells you? How did you figure it out that your oversupply of children is your  insurance  policy against poverty ? Have you forgotten  to ask  if these babies would be fed with solids from the bottom of Your  latrines? How come you have it all figured out that your children’s education can be sacrificed on the altar of family convenience such that you are deciding that private schools are the best way to raise your spoiled/spoilt brat? Your definition of education is incorrect because it encourages diversion of public funds from public schools to religious and parochial systems that have no proven benefits.  

Worse than that, Nigerian parents, you deny your child the benefits an education confers when you violate  the international labor laws. You balance wooden boxes atop  the heads of your young daughters and son, and then you say to the young people: “Go and sell akara balls, moi-moi, chinchin, opupa (peanuts), osikapa (fried  rice), and  kpuff kpuff  and fried plantains, and suya (roasted beef).“  Aren’t aware that  you  are contributing to the destruction of the morals of Nigerian girls. Many of your “trader” daughters have been raped and impregnated by male customers  several times your daughters’ ages, all because of your greed and desire to amass wealth at the expense of our young, impressionable teenage children.  Now, Nigerian parents, you are being ordered to “Bring back the innocence of our sons and daughters; bring back our childrens’ ezigbo omume (good character). You  must stop destroying future generations of Nigerians.

As parents, you run around, scratching the back of your child, encouraging him or her to be ungovernable, asking them to rubbish our rich culture of hard work; disrespect for our elders; and renounce our cherished ethos/philosophy that honest labor bears of lovely faces. You bribe your child’s teachers to socially promote your child from grade to grade and even you pay yearly fees to  professors at the Nigerian universities to give your children worthless diplomas. The result has been that your graduates have empty brains filled with mashed and lumpy  ede (coco yams); and garri that has too much water (water pass-garri). The  empty brains of our secondary and university students  are responsible for creating  the  unemployment Nigeria is best known  f or.

You have heard it said that empty barrel makes the loudest noise in the forest that is Nigeria. Everything in life is not concentrated in one word:  money . It s concentrated in two words: love and character. Life is not about the size of your bank account nor is it a  test  of the influence of your tribe and nuclear family; it is not about  or how much you are born with. Life is an experiment in comportment, meaning manner, behavior, air, deportment, attitude demeanor, posture, and the contribution one makes to the betterment/improvement of one’s Nigerian community.      

 Secondly, your marriage is a sham to say the least, and destructive at its worst.  Your children know you don’t have a marital life. When your daughters enter adulthood they do see marriage as half-hearted, often confusing, and  loveless relationship based principally on exploitation and self-seeking  selfishness. A Nigerian girl being married to a Nigerian  man is coming to overseas not to consummate marriage as unbreakable bond of unity, but to break up the man’s house and line  her parents’ pockets with unjust enrichment. Nigerian parents, listen up: your daughters are unsuitable for marriage; they are as unsteady as the sand castle at the approach of the slightest storm or gust of wind.  They are the weak link in the family, and they jump off the marriage train at every faint strain, sprain, or pain.

Your daughters are  earning  0% (zero, zilch, or naught) on  the Marriage Test. You can multiply any number with a zero, and the product is often zero. We Nigerian men do not want your daughters who are bitches that would sleep with any man who has a Naira or Dollar. A bitch is derogatory term for a female canine animal, especially a dog. We Nigerian men consider your daughter to be mean, overbearing, uncouth, vulgar, contemptible, and rude on top of that.  Additionally, we the responsible Nigerian women consider your Nigerian sons as unsuitable husbands. They are lazy, unmotivated  mama’s boys often given to drunkenness, drug use, and fraudulent activities.

Third, you fail to give your child structure, in that you push your child into an array of incompatible activities that lead to turmoil. This writer knows an Abuja mother who pushed her daughter into every beauty pageant and competition In Nigeria and beyond.  Some of the competitions the daughter had participated in included Miss Africa, Miss Naira, and Miss Excellence. While classes are going on at her university, this woman’s daughter is flouncing and switching oversize buttocks around, parading her body in scanty clothing in order to win prizes.

To flounce is to  prance, storm, stomp, or strut seductively in ways to get attention from  Nigerian governors and other politicians who would donate vehicles , houses, or jewels  to pageant winners. Therefore, Nigerian mothers are in the competition  to turn their daughters  over to traffickers as virtual ashawos (prostitutes); the types that fucked a Nigerian leader named Abacha to death. When a man dies in bed  while copiously engaged in sexual gymnastics , he is said to be Abachanized . If a Nigerian girl disappears while being turned into a sex slave by her mother, she is said to be a Chikok.

While this writer was  teaching at an institution in Nigeria, a woman came to his office with a petite daughter no older than 12 0r 13 years of age. The woman, who called herself a businessman trading in garri and soup ingredients,  had a very simple request. It was tit-for tat. “ Please  introduce me to school official in charge of buying foodstuffs for students, then have my daughter in bed as you like.” The idea was a type of trade by batter (toto for foofoo).  I rejected the offer because it was immoral., unconscionable, unscrupulous  Then, if you think I accepted or should have accepted, you are as foolish as the politicians messing up my country.

                Lastly, but not the least you Nigerian parents ignore or fail to heed the dangers of sacrificing your own country’s health and emotional  well-being on the altar of material goods, Additionally, you appear to wash your hands off activities that mean life or death in an orderly Nigerian society. Nigerian children do not have the opportunity to experience normal childhood. Child neglect, child trafficking , child abandonment, and child endangerment are not  uncommon in Nigerian society.

The  acts of Nigerian parents to impede the progress of my country  are open secrets  that some Nigerians want to sweep under ute ( rough mats made from a raffian or fronds of palm trees). These are open secrets that no one can deny. Nigerian mothers  and fathers, listen up one more time: you are too busy thrashing  around as headless chickens, chasing after toro na afu (Igbo for pennies, farthings,  and chicken change), while you neglect your most important responsibility for raising children that would replace current corruptionals. The corruptionals  are the  thieves, tax evaders, money launderers  in present day Nigeria.

The Nigerian parents  are notoriously incapable to raise healthy children. Parents  are chasing after material things like the deplorable akwunakwuna (prostitutes) they are. Nigerian fathers .especially those greedy, money-crazy, shiftless  rude, Lagos-type traders,  do not want anything to do with childrearing which they consider to be “work for women”.  Papa thrusts child rearing tasks  on the laps of confused Mama, and goes about drinking  Heinekens, palm wine, and kaikai  (alcohol distilled from corn ) at beer parlors and darkened liquor joints infested with harlots .

Manipulative  trader fathers convince materialistic, luxury- loving wives to send two-year-old Cecilia and her 4-year-old brother Abimbola to a boarding  school rather than to nearby local public school. They claim that private, boarding schools are better. They lie. They want unfettered, opportunities to engage in unregulated sexual activities while mothers take off in the morning to run businesses that  do not make sense. Frying akara balls and selling mudus of garri and rice are not more important than taking good care of our most precious resources: our children.  Such businesses are cover-ups for illegal, unhealthy activities.

Fathers impregnate each other’s underage boarding school girls whom they send to their friends’ dirty clinics usually out of town to obtain illegal abortions.  Wives fuck any man in sight that have some Naira, though they go to church on holy days and can quote Biblical sanctions against every sin in the two Testaments of the Holy Bible. The Nigerian parents want a free-for-all   sex, orgy, a debacle, disaster, and catastrophe. Muslim men send their wards to distant Islamic schools in North Sudan or Saudi Arabia so they can buccaneer South Nigerian Christian women.  A buccaneer is a pirate, adventurer, a thief who specializes in stealing women’s private parts.

HOW CAN PARENTS TURN THINGS AROUND IN NIGERIA?

·         Insist that all children go to the public schools; stop wasting money on so-called private schools.

·         Cease exploiting children as babysitters, and sellers of akara balls, agidi (corn meal), opupa (peanuts), oka (boiled and roasted corn).and suya (roasted beef)  while schools are in session.

·         Parents ought to model good behavior for children to emulate by remaining faithful to spouses.

·         Insist that children give back to society by serving as unpaid volunteers at hospitals and facilities serving the disabled.

·         Parents should educate themselves at least to be able to spell, write, read newspapers, and do simple mathematical computations in order to better to assist children with homework  and career choices

By Dr. james C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com, jamesagazies.blogspot.com

A LOOK AT MUSLIM ENSLAVEMENT OF DARKER AFRICAN  RACES

By Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com

The purpose of this essay it to sprinkle (nay, to pour) aspersion on an evil done in the name of religion and to focus spotlight on perpetrators of such evil. Aspersion is defined as a damaging or derogatory remark or criticism directed at evil doers.  Thanks go to several persons including this writer’s close friends   who are responsible for forcing this writer to think a little deeper into the root cause of some of the problems facing my country Nigeria and for encouraging me to post this essay which was completed on December 7, 2013, but which wasn’t posted  until events taking place in Nigerian seem to indicate that indeed this essay is right on target.     

                We know that slavery is still going on in many parts of Africa. We also know that enslaving others is the worst form of violence. History has proven that Muslims have been in the forefronts of the most nefarious, despicable and inhumane trade ever known in human history where men, women, an children are captured and sold with impunity. Dark skinned Africans have suffered the most atrocious slavery in human history at the hands of violent, racist, uneducated Arabs considered the dregs of African society.

The  dreg of society is a group of people you consider to be immoral and of no value. Sane people , including you and I tend to regard drug addicts and homosexuals as the dregs of society, don’t we? Simllarly, motherfuckers (persons who have sex with mothers) and those persons who have carnal knowledge of their daughters, sons, and close relatives are all dregs of society. Therefore, civilized societies have no use for dregs. They should be required to live outside the gates of civilized cities as leppers were once ostracized in Palestine.

Those grains of tea or coffee left at the bottom of the cup are the dregs, the valueless remnant or residue considered worthless and unwanted, Now that you are getting sensitized to the nonentity or insignificance of dregs, you are ready to continue the discussion. Surely,  you must be an idiot if you do not know this or if you have not seen the “Bring back our Girls” protests and haven’t heard about how Abubakar  Shekau abducted 270 girls from their schoolhouse.  News has it that Shekau has been killed after murdering over 20,000 Nigerians and leaving millions wandering around without homes . Shekau may be a lie from the pits of hell designed to divert world’s condemnation of Islam as a religion whose time is past.

That enslavement of Africans by Africans and Europeans has gone for centuries because of racism does not excuse the practice, The world should either care or is in tacit complicity. Arab Muslims have turned sales of black men, women and children into a humongously profitable business, particularly in profiteering  at the expense of   poor people from Senegal, the two Guineas Bissau and Conakry, Somalia, Sierra Leon, and Ethiopia, Togo, Ivory Coast, Mali, Chad, Nigeria, and Mauritania.

T              his writer has come across and made friends with many fine African  Muslims whose futures are  uncertain, and  who are uneducated, underemployed, and suffering from abject Muslim indoctrination  that leaves one malaise. We cannot see a satisfactory solution to the Islam conundrum (riddle whose answer is a pun, paradox, or in doubt) without delving into what Islam is all about.

As college educator and counselor, this writer has seen the downgrading or debasement of human beings from African Muslim countries. A debasement is a degradation, disparagement, humiliation, dishonor, or ignominy of the African pride.  While many non-Muslim African women (from Nigeria,  Ghana, Sierra Leone, etc) are going to schools in the United States in large numbers  helping to raise fine families, and entering workforce long being denied, their Muslim counterparts  are walking around the streets of America attired in the most hideous, fear-provoking garments . These  sorry, critically malaise women still believe that slavery is all that Allah has desired of them.

 What Shall We Do?

·         We shall see to it that every black African child has the opportunity to enjoy education.

·         We shall demand that each African government build quality schools and provide free compulsory primary education to all boys and girls within its borders and adult education for those who need it.

·         We shall continue to pressure the United Nations and all civilized nations to apply sanctions against and seize assets of any African government that encourages enslavement and/or denies education to young people. 

·         We shall encourage association with peaceful Muslim communities that are opposed to enslavement and who encourage peaceful co-existence.

·         We shall continue to debate roles Islam plays to disorganize communities and suggest ways Islam would follow to reform itself (Islam shall reform itself or die a gradual death).

·         We shall oppose any religion, Christian, Islam, animist or any group whose tenets include slavery and/or use of  violence against African people.

·         No sane African should fathom being a slave; all Africans must think of reparation  from Arab world for the sins visited upon his/her ancestors; reparation is payment, compensation, or damages paid for enforced servitude.

·         The permanent solution to  Arab slavery is through Western Education which is a powerful  antidote or liberating force that would rout/defeat ignorance and  superstitious beliefs.

·         We shall drum it into our conscious and unconscious minds that the violent jihadhist Muslims do not want Africans to be educated and be free so they invented slogan Boko haram  which is interpreted as  “Western education is a sin”  to keep Africans down.

·         We shall resist to death the violent, racist Muslims-Arabs who do not want black Africans to enjoy their God-given rights as human beings but to remain ignorant, unlettered, fettered, and without racial pride.

Muslim Reparations    

·         It is time the Muslim world paid reparations to several African countries whose citizens the Muslims had enslaved, mistreated, massacred, raped, or simply stolen  (it seems every married Arab Muslim fantasizes about having illicit sex with an African black domestic help while every Muslim wife pretends not to see ).

·         Africa is overwhelmingly non-Muslim but is being surreptitiously encroached upon by violent Arab Muslim invaders for centuries, preying on the victims’ poverty and lack of education. Reparations should be paid for each slave and for each day of indentured servitude.

·         Trading on (stealing and selling black Africans) has created billionaires in Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Kuwait, UAE, and other Muslim countries on whose soil slave feet had trodden.

·         Arch racists from Saudi Arabia, Lebanon and other Islamic fiefs under lazy, illiterate royal families have been buying thousands of Africans to be their indentured servants, often beating and raping the women, underpaying the men, and having some shot dead by state police. Currently, thousands of blacks are imported into Muslim nations as slaves from Ethiopia, Sudan , Philippines, etc.  Read more: http://ecadforum.com/2013/11/30/saudi-arabia-labor-crackdown-violence-human-rights-watch/

Muslim Modus Operandi

·         Racist Muslims consider themselves “whites”, having been given such classification by American and British racist legislators who wanted Saudi oil and money. 

·         Muslims have used other dark Africans (who lack education, are extremely poor and without reliable means of livelihood) to wage wars and enslave other African neighbors: a notable example is Nigeria’s boko haram

·         Muslim-inspired violent criminals are being resisted  anywhere  in the world; the people and government of Angola are banning Muslims and threatening to destroy Muslim mosques because of perceived link of Islam to international terrorism and violence carried out by black Africans inspired by Muslims. Read more:  http://www.onislam.net/english/news/africa/466297-angola-bans-islam-destroys-mosques.html

·         Central African Republic is embroiled in a struggle to free itself from a murderous gang of black skinned criminals parading as Muslims. Read: http://news.yahoo.com/photos/clashes-in-the-central-african-republic-capitol-slideshow/clashes-in-the-central-african-republic-capital-photo-1386867758688.html

·         Muslims have paid a few  African leaders to become Muslims for the purpose of exploiting  other Africans ;a  notable example being Uganda’s idi Amin and Nigeria’s Abacha.  We allege that several  past and present Nigerian leaders of the Muslim faith fall into this group .

·         Slavery is well and alive today in Muslim world; forget the myth that slavery has been abolished by the British; the British learned slavery from Arab Muslims.

·         Muslims stole slaves after wrecking havoc in East , Central, and West Africa, while marching their human cargoes to slave markets in Egypt, and North Africa, to Tripolitan, Arabia, Riyadh, Damascus, Baghdad,  and Cairo.

·         Muslims have continued to buy and sell black people in the open market despite the United Nations proscription of human trafficking (as is the case in Southern Sudan where the Government of Sudan had attacked, enslaved and massacred defenseless blacks Sudanese).

·         Islam is not a religion of peace; mohammendanism is a  vehicle through which Muslims engage in nefarious trade in human beings; the free world wants to know if Islam and Mohammed condoned slavery of the darker  non-Moslem  people who are inveigled, cajoled, wheedled, or had guns placed at their temples

·         Some racist Muslims are engineering  and encouraging uneducated, impoverished Muslim youth to threaten attacks and bombings of other African countries. Consider the Boko bombing of the U N  building at Abuja, Nigeria, and the boko harams leader Abubakar  Shekau’s   recent threat to attack the United States of America.  Read more:  http://naijagists.com/boko-haram-terrorists-vow-to-attack-america-kill-more-nigerian-soldiers/  and

http://en.starafrica.com/news/boko-haram-leader-threatens-to-attack-us.html

·         Muslims employ hidden tactics to keep black Africans enslaved through (1) pronouncements of Muslim clerics whose words mean life or death to followers; (2) teachings from the Koran which legitimatize bondage and loss of freedom; and (3) boko haramism means brutality, and  death to Africans through suicide bombings.

·         Muslims- Arabs justify slavery with the belief that darker-skinned races are inherently inferior to the whites (a lesson learned from the Americans and British).  

·         Muslim slave masters use systematic brainwashing as a powerful tool to convert Black Africans who are told to “convert-or-be slaughtered.”

·         Muslims are using Islam not as a religion but as global imperialistic and political weapon to exploit, gain economic advantage, and grab land belonging to others.

·         Muslims –from Arabia, Morocco, down from the Mediterranean- sold their sordid business to European bandits (British and Americans) eager to promote plantations and colonies and garner profits from oppression and human sufferings.  atonement

·         When we confront the brutal Muslim enslavement of darker African races, we are facing the issues of compensation, amends, penitence, penance, punishment, expiation, apology, or reparation.

COPYRIGHTED  December 7^th and 15th 2013

THAT’S WHY WE’RE FALLING LIKE FLIES?

by Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com

WARNING: Essay contains profanity and may be inappropriate for minors

“We are falling like flies everywhere,”  the caller said with his throaty voice rising with imperceptible tempo and earnestness. Here is a man who has sad news to tell. He is this writer’s former student Dr. Paul O. (just his first name only), calling frantically with some sad news. He is alarmed, worried, troubled, distressed, or anxious. Something is happening to the people he has known. Over 75 percent of Nigerians Dr. Paul had known since coming to America in 1985 (30 years ago) are now dead.

He recalls names of his Igbo, Yoruba, Efik, and Ghanaian professors whose classes he had taken at various colleges, including Winston Salem State University, North Carolina A&T State University, and Elizabeth State University where he was a student in one of my classes,  He believes that most of the Nigerian graduate students he had met while working toward the PhD at Virginia Polytechnic and State University, are among the dead.

“Doc, do you know what is happening? We’re falling like flies,” Dr. Paul continued to lament,

“Who  are the we falling where and why? What are you talking about, this man?” I asked.

Somehow, I knew it. I thought I knew it. There is nothing in the whole world that scares grown men more than death. You’ve seen Igbos dance the popular music Onwuzuruwa (death blankets the whole world) and heard them name their sons Onwuka (death is supreme). Have you ever questioned what the Igbos mean by such words? You wonder absolutely. Like a thief in the middle of sun-lit day, death stomps you heavily, strikes you upside down, and asks you: “Who’s above me?”  You think you can do nothing. Wait a minute!

You can do a lot. You can stop inviting Death in your home. That’s short and long of the story. Dr. Paul is genuinely concerned about some of the important Nigerians he has known in the past but who are no more. In order to wage a war against his fear of death, Dr. Paul has started a strenuous exercise and diet regimens that have cut his waist size and weight significantly down. I couldn’t believe it when this man sent his pictures through my Metro Cell Phone. He is slim and trim, having lost his massive beer stomach.

He says he is so agile women stop him at the gym to comment and ask for a selfie or two. His wife of 25 years doesn’t take all these changes calmly; she accuses Dr. Paul of seeking  to be a playboy. She pushes him away and tightens her torso when he lands between her open thighs in the middle of the night to have sex. The pushing and tightening of massive thighs was a precautious in the case this thinner, slimmer, and okporoko-type man ( man looks like dried stockfish) could be onye oshi ikpu (rapist or a thief of vagina also known as otu or toto)? You cannot be sure! Better be sure than to be sorry. For one thing, Dr. Paul is worried about death, so he keeps lamenting and exercising, just in case.

The purpose of this essay is to report on the huge numbers of Nigerian Americans in general and American Ibos in particular who are falling like fruit flies, and to suggest reasons behind why frequent wake ceremonies are held in Nigerian communities in America and elsewhere. How many times have you been called upon to help raise money to ship bodies of a fallen comrade home for burial? A Nigerian woman tells me she would prefer being buried at a beautiful cemetery in any American city to being flown to her folks at Afikpo, Nigeria.  The principal reason for her preference was a personal desire: “so my children can come occasionally and leave fresh flowers at my grave.”

“Why not fly your body on Delta Airline First Class to your Afikpo village burial ground?” I asked, half joking and half seeking an argument.  She spat on the ground to demonstrate her utmost disgust, and her spit tells you more story than meets the senses. Afikpo cemetery is rocky, without landscaping. To make matters worse, Nigerian cemeteries are inhabited by amosu (witches); and people buried there are the ogbanje (persons who die and come back to life in bodies other than theirs).

The bottom line is this: Nigerians are dying galore, and these deaths are preventable in the sense that they are needless, avoidable, unnecessary, or escapable. The offending culprits are not just the amosu and ogbanje. They are, first the poor diet your Nigerian tradition has taught from childhood you to eat. The second culprit is your inadequate knowledge of healthcare. The third is your excessive work habit that tells you to “work till you drop.” The last guilty party is your sedentary, inactive lifestyle. 

Our diet consists of vitamin-deficient starches that give one the feeling of being belle full (well fed). Belle fullness in actuality is a trick your intestines play on you to hide the fact that you are actually starving, famished, full of hunger. We take great pride in eating our traditional eba, consisting of fattening starches from ji (yams), akpu (cassava), or ede (coco yam). What of unripe plantains and ubiquitous, ever-present rice?  That we often neglect taking good care of our bodies is a sermon to be preached in the front parlor of every Nigerian house.

Why do you forget that your body is a living organism that needs to be fed properly with the health-giving substances that support life and replenish all the stuffs that have already been depleted? Why do you ignore taking healthcare measures to ward off falling ill frequently and dying prematurely? Doesn’t neglecting to take care of your body constitute a penny-wise-pound-foolish lifestyle?

The quest for money seems to consume a significant portion of the waking hours of most Nigerians abroad and in our country. Nigerians work so hard round the clock, and the more work the merrier. Money is everything, and more than anything on earth. The period between 8am and 5pm is the most pronounced “slave time.” For most Nigerians work, comes first before life itself, followed by alcohol, sex, and food in that descending order of importance.

Some Nigerians work 24 hours daily in big cities like Lagos, Abuja, New York City, Washington D. C., and Boston Massachusetts. This writer runs into Nigerians doing all sorts of illegality to generate money, including stealing credit cards from mail boxes to make purchases for shipment to Nigeria.  This writer knows Anambra man  who defrauded American automobile dealers of over 30 vehicles which he shipped to Lagos with false/faked documents. The US Government  traced the vehicles to a Lagos destination and sent personnel to retrieve then, while giving the thief a long prison sentence.  Stealing seems to be the worst thing to happen to Nigerians since boko haram discovered the use of teenage squads of suicide bombers.

 Nigerians  are virtual prisoners in the house of work. Chasing after okpoyo (money) seems so satisfying it is amazing. Countless slave hours are spent on jobs which at best are uninteresting, tedious, dreary, mind-numbing, or dull; and which at worst do generate insufficient remuneration or compensation. Work keeps Nigerians JOB (just over broke). Friends complain they work just to “pay bills” or “keep food on the table.” Do they pay for such essential stuffs as ikuku (air), okpomo oku (heat) and anyanwu (sunlight)? Come on, greedy somebody!

Why work, work, and work? It is because we Nigerians generally believed that no meaningful life can be lived without swimming in luxury, or without huge quantities of what is popularly known in Nigeria as kwudi among the Hausa; ego in Igbo;  owo in Yoruba; or money in Bekee. What good is money when you accumulate it just to die without enjoying it, when your children waste it before your dead body ever hits the earth, or when your cash falls into unintended hands and for unplanned purposes? A financial support for Boko haram is like building a multi-billion mansion in the middle of hell; hell is uninhabitable, in a state of permanent disrepair.

Excessive work makes Nigerians die like fruit flies. Atlanta Airport in Clayton County is home of the largest and busiest airport in the world. Over 1,000,000 (a million) passengers fly in and out of Atlanta Airport on a daily basis. Over 100,000 vehicles are parked at the airport day and night. Most of the vehicles are taxi cabs and limousines owned by Nigerians.

These Nigerian men are dirty, having taken no baths in days, sleeping in their vehicles, while waiting to pick up or drop off passengers. These men own homes which cost as much as $2,000,000 and in which they do not sleep. How could they sleep when every hour is spent in vehicles parked at the airport, waiting to make money? Wives are lonely, sex starved, and take on lovers behind the backs of money-grabbing husbands who sleep in vehicles parked at the airport.

Lack of sleep combines with ike ogwugwu (tiredness) to kill many Nigerian men. When these men are often tired, they fall asleep with mouths open. The fat ones sleep with mouths open as wide as enyi miri (Hippopotamus) and the skinny ones has mouths resembling agu iyi (crocodile). They snore like crazy, and their snoring can wake the dead at cemeteries in their respective villages . They snore like the newfie (Canadian dog native to Newfoundland). The newfie makes the loudest sound of all creatures when asleep. You can kick or pull the tail of a newfie and it sleeps on. So, what is the “tory” behind the dirty, tired, tossing and turning Nigerian drivers snoring big time at the biggest airport in Georgia with mouths as wide as the hippopotami or crocodiles?

Poor eating is a never-ending problem for Nigerians who die like flies, When they finally wake up from uneasy slumber and are hungry, these Nigerian owners of taxis and limousines are accosted by a retinue of fat bottomed Nigerian women selling food loaded with palm oil to kill the liver; high on cholesterol to clog arteries; and everything else to sicken you and send your body to the morgue. They go back to sleep after consuming cases of Heineken’s and vodka if there are no passengers to ferry around.       

Sedentary lifestyle is a big killer of our people in that we live out our life, virtually sitting down in self-contained prisons, remaining inactive in one place, and letting the body to atrophy. To atrophy is to waste away, wither, shrivel, degenerate, or deteriorate. Many Nigerians do not know the meaning of relaxation or chilling out, just as idiots don’t understand why Igbos name their children Uche (wisdom), Uchechukwu (God’s wisdom), or Uchenna (my father’s thinking).

Bad marriages destroy the lives of both Nigerian men and women. This Imo woman named Monika was married to her Imoh husband until other single men convinced her she was a paragon of beauty and asked for secret dates. She dated a  few times  in hotels, and the word got out to husband who filed for a divorce without wasting time    After breaking up with her husband in New York, Monika moved south. She has no children, and that alone makes her situation exceptionally precarious.

This woman literally threw herself into heavy work. GWAM! She had to do that for various reasons that do not exclude loneliness, soullessness, embarrassment, and to save her sanity. You are a victim of soullessness when you lack sensitivity or the capacity for deep feeling. You can follow the story if you could understand things from a woman divorced on the grounds of adultery. Just think of it!  You are akwunakwuna (whore), harlot, public toilet.  Monika has no man to fuck during the summer nights when pussy needs to be cooled off or during the wintry nights when pussy needs to be warmed up like left-over egusi or bitterleaf soup you intentionally left overnight outside of the refrigerator.

Monika’s life is terrible when the Christmas and New Year celebrations roll around. America’s winter nights are cruel, bitter, and you need something to snuggle up to, warn you up, to fuck you senseless t.d.b. (till day break). Monika sleeps alone, hugging the pillows, and her vagina is left as cold as ice. If you touch the pussy, it says: “nwii, nwii, nwii. Welcome. I’m starving.”

So, how does Monika handle her sex drive? She runs kpuru kpuru kpuru kpuru piling work upon herself as if work were a long penis traded on the Nigerian Stock Exchange.  The penis must be grabbed at all costs as Okonkwo in Achebe’s Things Fall Apart prepares to limber, nimble, lissome, or lithe up a tall tree to tap the juice, while rubbing his penis against an intoxicating palm tree.

If you take a look at Monika’s picture on the Face Book, you are confronting a brown African elephant. Chai! Chei is all you can say. Monika is very, very fat, just like ezi (grunting pig), wallowing in the mud. My friend, fatness from unhappiness, overwork, and no exercise will kill you as readily as a gunshot in the head.

 I got to thinking like: Monika, are you crazy or what? You opened an adult healthcare business that requires 24-hour-7 day-a week management of CNA’s (certified nursing assistants) , and you are a single woman and have no nursing degree. Then you bought 20- unit apartment complex you are renting out to families headed by American men who would take advantage of you, a single African woman. You have a graduate degree in elementary education, and you don’t have   the slightest idea of how to run real estate business, woman.  And on top of that, you are becoming  so crazy now  that you are opening and running Event Hall for party goers in a large American city .Na wa for you! How do you do all that? You are one of the Nigerians who are killing themselves with work. Na wa for you!”

Does Monika share my concern?  No. She thinks I am envious of her success. Workaholic Nigerians are ticking as  time bombs waiting to explode when conditions are right. Overeating and alcoholism are Nigerian chosen ways to deal with their dilemma. The women are hippopotami while the men are pregnant with twins.  Going back to the Abiriba man who wouldn’t stop talking, he says that work is killing Nigerians dead.  This writer agrees.

 We work so hard to maintain a standard of living that convinces us that we have made it in obodo oyibo (whit e man’s land), as proof  to folks back home that obodo oyibo is where the action is We drive the latest vehicles. We buy the biggest, most expensive house in the white neighborhood (USA) to show white people they cannot outdo us even if they continue to discriminate against us maka  anyi  bu nde biara abia (because we are visitors or new comers from elsewhere).

We parade as peacocks, seeking to be seen with the Joneses.  All of this show-show and big manism require much work and take a toll on us.  In the end, we die, leaving nothing behind. All of our savings  are taken away by funeral expenses,  property taxes, bills, and expensive purchases . In the end, we die, and  end  up poorer than when we first began our journey overseas.  

 Okonkwo Ani (fictional character) is my favorite Nigerian from Enugu State. He complains a lot about how hard he is working to provide for a family of two teenage daughters and four boys.  I say: “Mr. Ani, take it easy, my friend. Please buy a house in Chicago to house your tribe of 8 people.” His wife’s disagrees.   Wife’s lack of economic education led Okonkwo to rent a huge house at a cost of 3 times the average mortgage of a 3-bdroom house. He rents and does not own, and when you rent you are only helping your landlord to pay his house note, while you have nothing to show for it.

Any fool can easily prove that Okonkwo is unwise for paying a monthly rent in the amount of 4,000 dollars = 1,444,000 Naira (1,5 million Naira). This is just to rent a house, not to own  it.  That translates to 17 million Naira a year. I would not be surprised if my phone  rings one day and someone  announces:  “your friend Chief Okonkwo Ani is now the late. Work to pay rents has killed him kpatakpata” It wouldn’t shock me.

There is something else.  My friend Okonkwo Ani  is refurbishing  two houses at Lagos and Onitsha  while renovating his late father’s house in the East. He doesn’t have time to sleep while working himself to death, driving limousine. His wife would collect his life insurance and smile at his funeral, with one eye closed and the other winking at the next stupid person to work harder than the late Chief Okonkwo Ani.

                While we're on the subject, we Nigerians are unhappy and miserable, having missed out on the good, peaceful  life in Nigeria from which we are now disconnected. As if that is not enough pressure on us, we feel that nobody wants us around in Nigeria. The Americans always treat us as strangers who are not fully acculturated to their society, and who are taking jobs from the natives. We do not belong to the American society. We do not belong to Nigerian society , either. Where do we belong?  Nowhere!

                Lord, have mercy! Our Nigerian relatives back home see u s as Americans stuffed with  Dollars. We must be fools  to want to return home. They say behind our backs: “You do not know what to do with money? Better stay there and send us dollars. It’s good if you die there,” Many Nigerian Americans sometimes feel that we are slaves to satisfy home people’s unquenchable. unappeasable  appetite  for material things; we bear their financial obligations when we send 2,000,000,000 (two billion) dollars yearly home to relatives who do not show any appreciation let alone welcome us home, and who would want to see us dead so they would take away our inheritances from our fathers.

                If we fail to satisfy these obligations, folks back home would hold unforgivable grudges against us and the children we begat in America.  Nigerians live in great fear, and fear is a potential killer just as overwork and illness can kill the human body. In short, we live under a double-edged sword:  the sword of being exploited by Americans and discarded when our services are no longer needed, and  the sward of being destroyed by envious relatives who see us as failures. Swords create real fear, terror, horror, trepidation, apprehension.

                Samuel the limousine driver, says he is afraid to go to his home relatives  who would say;” Samuel, why are you coming home to be with us? Are you here to show us your money and laugh at our poverty? Didn’t we think you should be overseas and be sending us money? Why are you here, in the first place?”

 Life can be cruel, very cruel. The only way to escape life’s cruelty is to die and be buried in America or carried home in a casket.  Make sure your casket is painted gold color so that villagers would exclaim: “He’s so rich he dies and is brought home in nnekwu akpati ozu ola edo (big funeral box made of gold). A Nigerian is not yet dead even at death. He still works restlessly hard to prove he is still rich if one looks at his funeral procession, including the gold coffin , paid dancers, hired  church choirs, and numerous finished and unfinished buildings. When are  we Nigerians actually exhausted and need to rest? Is it when are we really dead? Your guess is as good as mine.

Written by Dr. James C. Agazie, jamesagazie@gmail.com; jamesagazies.blogspot.com